Page 46 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

But that obsession was not meant to last forever. In the
textbook of marriage, it is but the introduction. The heart of
the book is rational, volitional love. That is the kind of love
to which the sages have always called us. It is intentional.
That is good news to the married couple who have lost
all of their “in love” feelings. If love is a choice, then they
have the capacity to love after the “in love” obsession has
died and they have returned to the real world. That kind of
love begins with an attitude—a way of thinking. Love is the
attitude that says, “I am married to you, and I choose to look
out for your interests.” Then the one who chooses to love
will find appropriate ways to express that decision.
“But it seems so sterile,” some may contend. “Love as
an attitude with appropriate behavior? Where are the
shooting stars, the balloons, the deep emotions? What
about the spirit of anticipation, the twinkle of the eye, the
electricity of a kiss, the excitement of sex? What about the
emotional security of knowing that I am number one in
his/her mind?” That is what this book is all about. How do
we meet each other’s deep, emotional need to feel loved?
If we can learn that and choose to do it, then the love we
share will be exciting beyond anything we ever felt when we
were infatuated.

For many years now, I have discussed the five emotional
love languages in my marriage seminars and in private