Page 60 - The Houseguest

HRP
I stopped labeling the parts of the Ravenge plan after Plan “A” “B” and “C” extended to “Plan R.” At that point, it became just one continuous strategy to be memorized and implemented meticulously. It was like climbing a ladder, every step relying upon the preceding and succeeding rung to reach the top. With so much progress being made on the development and organization of the plan, I started to take breaks. It was like working on a long and involved defense case. The ironic thing was that I could literally view it from the opposite angle – as if it were a legal case playing out in a courtroom and I had been tasked with flushing out every possible inconsistency.
I began experiencing grotesque dreams again, but they didn’t involve my loved ones. This time, they centered around Rachel. The blood and screams in these dreams were fashioned intentionally by my mind to provide intense nocturnal satisfaction, because it was she who was feeling unbearable pain, not me. It was the theme of the Ravenge plan playing out in my mind as I slept that brought me extreme pleasure, not in a sexual way, but in all-encompassing gratification that I could never begin to describe. I went to bed each night looking forward to my dreams.
One would think when a brain crosses over boundaries to begin thinking things -- things that are only found in horror movies -- it would cause concern for that brain’s owner. But when that same brain has been forced to delve so deeply into its own pain, it becomes incapable of empathy or compassion, no longer matching the definition
60
The Houseguest by Linda Ellis www.LindaEllis.life