Page 187 - Some Dance to Remember

Some Dance to Remember 157

“Talk about what?”
“The way of the world.”
“Which way is that?”
“If you have to ask, I can’t tell you.”
“I’m not innocent.”
“You protest too much.”
“About what?”
Solly hesitated, “About what it takes to be a man.”
“Masculinity is the truly important issue facing homosexual males
today.”
“Spare me the sounds of your cowboy philosophy. Nobody knows
what a real man is. Nobody’s seen one in years.”
“I have to work through what I have to work through.”
“You’re sounding more California than ever.”
“What are you talking about?”
Solly pushed his plate aside. “I’m talking about Kick.”
“You mean the love of my life.”
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
“About what?”
“About the Great God Kick. I don’t mean to be bitchy, but I’ve had
it. I fail to see his charms. Whoever said that everyone should be blond.
Who cares if you’ve found the greatest fuck of your life. You’re not the
only one sin San Francisco taking nightly trips on gossamer wings. You’re
not the only ones taking drugs. You two didn’t invent sex.” Solly stared at
Ryan. “I invented sex.”
Ryan was amazed. This man, his closest confidant, closer for longer
than Kick himself, was not understanding the muscleman or the affair or
the changes of the last thirteen months.
“I think,” Solly said, “you’re still too starry-eyed.”
“But you’ve said nothing before.”
“I thought you two would burn out. I thought you’d come to your
senses.”
“I am in my senses. I’m more sensual than ever before in my life. Jesus!
You make me sound like one of those people who’ve found Jesus!”
“Scratch a Catholic,” Solly said, “and get guilt.”
“I’m angry, not guilty.” No one had ever dared question his relation-
ship to Kick this way. This was more than some jealous bodybuilder’s
carping in the gym.
“I knew you wouldn’t like this conversation,” Solly said. “That’s why
I waited till we were in a public place. I warned you not to take me out.

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