Page 435 - Some Dance to Remember

Some Dance to Remember 405

you’re thinking. We all think it sometimes. We’re all of us murderers in
our own hearts.”
Something darkly human hidden deep in Solly tried to connect with
something unfound deep inside Ryan. “Baudelaire said, ‘Life being what
it is, one thinks of revenge.’”
“I’m no Baudelaire,” Ryan said. “Kick pegged me. With his parting
shot, he took my writing away from me. He stole our manuscript. I can’t
write anything anymore. He gutted me. He knew how to hurt me. He
killed me. He said no nine-to-five porn hack was going to ruin his life.”
“There you have it.”
“Have what? He made sure he left me with nothing.”
“All the better,” Solly said. “You have your motive.”
“What motive?”
“He attacked your very essence. Your way with words. The words he
first pursued you for. The words he needed every night. The sex scenarios
you created and talked him through. He had read you before he set out
to meet you. He was silent as Moses until Michelangelo struck his statue
and said, ‘Speak!’ You gave him words. He spoke and he silenced you. He’s
your Frankenstein’s monster. He made you insane.”
“I’m crazy. I’m depressed. I’m not insane.”
“Temporary insanity,” Solly said. “It worked for Dan White when he
shot Harvey Milk.” He wove his logic around Ryan’s being. “Temporary
insanity has nothing to do with the usual insanity defense. Full insanity
leads to a judgment of mental incompetence.”
“What about erotic incompetence? I know I’ll never love this way
again.”
“Temporary insanity is a euphemism. It’s the nearest equivalent a
judge and jury can find to a verdict of justifiable homicide.” Solly was
amazing himself with his mystery writer’s logic. “And that’s only if you
get caught. The fact is most murders go unsolved.” He adjusted his butt
on the couch. “You set up a situation. You stalk from a distance. You let
things happen naturally. When you corner your prey, it’s just the obvious
conclusion. The murder is simply an action in the order of the hunt. It’s
just like cruising for sex. You dress yourself up to be appealing. You go
where your target hangs out. You pick up on him. You close in. You have
sex.” Solly paused. “It ends up naturally. Just like you planned. You kill
him. You close the door, leave him dead on the floor, and steal away into
the night. Think of it.”
“I am thinking of it,” Ryan said. “Stop scaring me.”
“I intend to scare you,” Solly said.

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