Page 130 - Student: dazed And Confused

where it previously said permanently. It sounds much better for having made even these
minor changes, though I drew the line when one person suggested finding something else
for silently as I used it twice in the final verse. The repetition of certain words and ideas
have become part of my style.

I was going to put a short poem of similar length called 'stolen night' in place of 'Blossom'. I
am not sure why I chose this one as the other was technically better, littered with
alliteration, onomatopoeia and very vivid imagery. I did get rather experimental with
changing meanings so perhaps 'Blossom' won for its simplicity. I rejected the idea of
swapping the bull line with the god line because I wanted the earthly object to come first.
One member of the group recommended that I play with how it looked on the page, and I
ended up putting it in the middle of a pure white sheet. This then became a poem meant to
be seen as a petal on the page.

'I will do these things' was written as another exploration of voice and form. Originally, this
was another 'straight down the page' poem. After a lecture on form, i went back and
separated the 2nd, 3rd and 4th stanzas into indented and non-indented lines to represent a
more conversational tone of voice/verse. I was asked to have a think about the line that
now reads

'When you start to crumble
I'll help you stand tall'
They gave me a possible alternative of

'I'll hold you up
When you start to fall'
Which is a very nice line itself and probably would have fitted well, only I thought it was a
little too obvious and I wanted to avoid that.

Poetry, like all writing, has widely accepted rules, though these are by no means hard and
fast. Whatever the case, I can say that none of these pieces conform to these rules. A
writer creates one's own rules as they find their own style. I write many poems that were
always leaning towards performance even though I have found I tend to make an idiot of
myself when I perform - probably because I am not as confident in my work as perhaps I
should be. But, that's my style of doing things and, like an artisan honing his craft, I have
discovered my own way of doing things.

Performing a poem is not the same as reading one. I performed 'Torn to shreds' and 'In
pain and peace'. I wasn't too happy with the way either of them came out on the night as I
had not banked on so many nerves in the air; they sounded so different performing for a
room of people instead of my trolls at home. The guitar piece worked well and people
seemed to like it. I was happier with that than the other because I had spent much more
time getting to know it. 'Torn to shreds' however... I wasn't unhappy with it and it was a
blessedly long way from being a disaster - I just think I would have chosen another one to
perform if I had known. I've seen people like Benjamin Zephaniah and Dreadlockalien