Page 44 - Student: dazed And Confused

reason, though. I needed to understand why she did what she did, why she let it end the
way she did.

THEN

Jess sat at the dinner table as her mother cleared the plates away, making a point of
ignoring the man sitting on her right. She drained her glass of milk and put her glass down.
Her mother returned to the table and put the glass in the metal sink.

"Good girl," she smiled and looked over at the man. Something was being said in
that look, Jess wasn't sure what it was, probably something along the lines of "See what an
obedient little girl I've raised." That would tell him. "Wipe your mouth, sweetie. You're full
of crumbs."
Wiping her mouth on the sleeve of her thin t-shirt, she slid off her chair and trotted
into the front room to watch TV without a word to either of them. Why should she have to
speak to them? There was nothing good on any channel, most of the children's channels
had shut down for the night, so she sat down and watched a cartoon station. She heard the
furniture creak behind her, but didn't turn around, defiantly jabbing the buttons of the

remote control, watching a few seconds of one cartoon before turning to another channel,
then maybe a music station. The bright blocks of colour and flashing lights held her
attention for a while, after which she was just doing it to annoy the people behind her.
"Jess," began her mother, not having the energy to get angry at her daughter.
"Please stop doing that. Find something to watch and leave it on."
"But, I'm watching all of these things," she said. If she stopped flicking between
them, she'd lose track of what was happening. She carried on stabbing a stiff, angry finger
at the buttons before her mother worked up the energy to speak again.
"Jessica ! " she scolded. Jess knew she was in trouble now - she was hardly ever
called by her full name. "Pack that in right now. We have a guest. and I'm sure he doesn't

want to watch this."
"A guest?" Jess raised her eyebrows and looked mildly interested. She turned and
looked around, making sure she didn't even acknowledge his presence, his existence.
"Where?" Her plan to ignore him for the entire evening had been working like a charm so
far, and if there was one thing she was good at it was ignoring people.
"No, leave her, Karen. It's okay." He tried tp smile. "Really."
Jess stared at her mother accusingly. She didn't know what she was accusing her of,
or why, but it beat looking at the other person in the room.
"Jessica ! " her mother repeated, irritated at her daughter.

Jess carried on flicking, getting faster and faster until the screen was no more than a
flashing display, guiltily hoping that the man was epileptic. He had ruined her life; why
shouldn't she disrupt his a bit?