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SOCRATES SNOOKS.

T E E Socrates Snooks, a lord o f creation,
T he second time entered the m arriage relation
Xantippe Caloric accepted his hand,
A n d they thought him the happiest man in the land,
But scarce had the honeym oon passed o ’er his head.
W hen one morning to Xantippe, Socrates said,
“ T think, for a man of my standing in life,
This house is too small, as I now have a wife:
So, as early as possible, carpenter Carey
Shall be sent for to widen m y house and my dairy/'

“ N ow , Socrates dearest,” Xantippe replied,
f‘ T hate to hear everything vulgarly my'd;
N ow , whenever you speak of your chattels again,
Say, our cow-housc, our barn-yard, our pig-pcu."
'B y your leavef Mrs. Snooks, T will say what T please
O f my houses, my lands, my gardens, my trees."
-'S ay our” Xantippe exclaimed in a rage.
‘ I won’t, Mrs. Snooks, though yon ask it an a g e ! IT

O h , w om an [ th o u g h on 1y a p a rt o f m an's rib ,
If the story in Genesis don't tell a fib,

Should your naughty companion e’er quarrel with you.
Y o u arc certain to prove the best man of the two.
In the following case this was certainly true;
For the lovely Xantippe just pulled off her shoe,
A n d laying about her, on all sides at random,
The adage was verified— “ Nil desperandum.'1’

Mister Socrates Snooks, after trying in vain
T o ward off the blows which descended like rain—
Concluding that valors best part was discretion,
Crept mider the bed like a terrified H essian;