Page 907 - Total War on PTSD

CHAPTER 21 - THE SECRETS I’VE HEARD
Lizzy the Black Labrador and Blade the Shitzu - Leigh: I am a U.S. Army Veteran and served for over 28 years. I retired as a First Sergeant (1SG/E8). I completed deployments to Hungary in 1998, Iraq in 2005 and Afghanistan 2012-2013. If I had the chance to serve again I would. Even though my service is the root cause of my PTSD, it's the one place where I feel comfortable and that gives me purpose. Being with my fellow military personnel, in a setting where the mission is all you have to focus on, keeps your mind and body occupied. I felt as if I was doing something of value. It also blocked out most of the stressors from back home, so I was focused. When I'm surrounded by people who understand and can relate because they are in the same situation with similar experiences, it gives you a sense of ease, and sometimes trust. No one can understand being in the military, or being in combat, unless they have been there themselves; no matter what they would like you to believe. I wouldn't trade the overall experience for anything.
I don't really know who I am right now. I know who I was, but not who I am anymore. The lines get blurred between the person the military shaped me to be and the experiences that changed or diminished that person; not to mention I had been operating behind a facade for years. I would say that, for the most part, and maybe even through some of the trauma, during my “shaping/early years,” the military (much more so the people I came into contact with)
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