Page 84 - STMT 2nd Edition

Disappointment and early conflicts are the hallmarks of this difficult,

unavoidable period, as the two of you make the first steps toward

accepting each other for who you really are.

The mission and challenge? No less than laying the groundwork for a long

future together based on acceptance, respect and openness to change.

You’ll need to assertively discuss and emphatically listen as you both

introduce your deepest personal needs and wants. This creates a

foundation for being truly known, understood and supported in the years

ahead.

Stage Three of Marriage: Rebellion

She misses her friends; he misses his cool toys.

She wants to travel; he wants to play weekly softball.

She wants to build her career; he wants to build his career.

Even for couples who successfully navigate the realization stage of

marriage and lay the foundation for a happy, respectful coexistence

together, a time inevitably emerges when self-interest often overtakes the

interests of the marriage. And when this happens, be ready for the battles.

Love amid the power struggles of the rebellion stage is tricky business.

You both believe you’re right, so of course your partner’s wrong. That

means you’re simultaneously offended at being called wrong and claiming

the moral high ground. Is this any way to run a marriage?

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