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when grieving friends and family need physical, social, emotional, psychological
the most support. and spiritual reaction to loss. It is natural,
normal and necessary. It may cause a
Don’t: variety of reactions, including:
Bring your cell phone - your phone
ringing will be highly inappropriate and • Feeling tired and irritable. You may
will cause a disturbance, so turn any experience insomnia or feel tired all
ringers or notifications off. Even better, the time.
leave your phone at home or in your car, • Appetite changes. You may or may
a funeral is not the time to be texting or not feel hungry.
checking your messages. • Feelings of anxiousness. You may
feel worried and excited at the same
Allow your children to be a distraction - time; like your heart is racing and
from a very young age children are aware you cannot “catch your breath”.
of death and if the funeral is for someone • Feelings of emptiness. You may feel
that was close them (grandparent, aunt, hollow inside. It may be hard to
uncle) they should be given the option to concentrate or remember things.
attend. However, if it is not appropriate • Feeling out-of-control. You may feel
for your child to be there and if you feel helpless, angry or frightened.
they will cause a commotion, leave them
with a babysitter. All of these feelings are normal. Your
whole world has changed. You cannot
Be afraid to remember the good times - bring the person back or change the
funerals are obviously a time of grieving situation. It is natural to feel vulnerable.
and mourning, but remembering the Through information, we gain a sense of
good times helps with the healing understanding. Through understanding,
process. Sharing a funny and appropriate we gain a sense of control.
story is acceptable, and, in some cases
exactly what the deceased would Seek out information about grief, everyone
have wanted. grieves differently. Our cultural and
religious experiences, the circumstances
Overindulge - if food or drink is served, of the death and our relationship with
do not over do it. Have a bite to eat the person who died influence our
before you go to the service, you do not reactions to grief. If someone dies after
want to be that guy parked at the snack a long illness, there may be a momentary
table. If alcohol is served, limit yourself sense of relief that the pain is over. If a
to one or two, do not become inebriated death is sudden and unexpected, shock
and risk doing something inappropriate. and a feeling of numbness may occur. If
a young person dies there is a sense that
things are out of order and that life is not
Understanding Grief the way it is supposed to be.
The death of a loved one, friend or family
member often puts us in touch with What you can do
our own thoughts and feelings about Acknowledge and express your feelings.
mortality. All of a sudden we realize how Grief can be confusing. Sadness, anger,
quickly life can end. It is normal to feel fear and guilt are some of the most
out-of-control and overwhelmed. Realize common emotions. You may feel nothing
you are grieving. at all or feel them all at the same time.
Do not be afraid of the intensity of your
The first step towards regaining a sense emotions. Mood swings are normal.
of control is to understand grief. Grief is a
Forrester Maher Funeral Home - Page 23
