Page 114 - Advance Copy: Todd Kaufman, Author

TODD KAUFMAN
The Set-up Phrase (one of the first steps) was critical. It needed to be powerful, yet not too scary, and very short and direct. I wanted it to incorporate exaggerated humour as laughter (should I be able to get her there) would have been a powerful way to drop her cortisol levels. I said to her: “If I walk up that aisle today, I’m going to pass out cold and wake up dead!”
Sarah looked at me a bit puzzled, her brain trying to devote resources to figuring out whether the guy who was supposed to officiate her wedding was crazy or not, all the while being consumed with racing thoughts of anxiety.
Our brains don’t multi-task. Multi-tasking is a myth bosses use to make people feel guilty about not getting enough done! In reality, our brains switch from one thought to another and back again at such lightning speed that we only think we are retaining multiple thoughts concurrently. However, we’re not wired to be able to hold more than one thought at a time.
“Keep tapping Sarah.” With all that was going on in her head at that moment, I needed to coach her brain to stay on track. “And repeat what I just said: If I walk up that aisle today, I am going to pass out cold and wake up dead.”
Sarah did as she was directed and pushed out a teary, sobbing version of the set-up statement.
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And she did.
“Okay, repeat it again, and keep tapping!” I continued to show Sarah where to tap on the spots on her body that I knew lowered cortisol levels as I coached her to keep repeating the full phrase: “If I walk up that aisle today, I’m going to pass out cold and wake up dead, and, I completely and totally love and respect myself.”
Very quickly, a small smile cracked through Sarah’s sobs as she realized that what I had her repeating sounded so very ridiculous!
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