Page 383 - WhyAsInY

Portrait of a (first) MarriaGe
came to believe that the forces that were unleashed that day, forces that arose out of my relationship with Phyllis, out of Phyllis’s and my rela- tionship with her family (her father, in particular), and out of Phyllis’s increasing involvement with the synagogue, ultimately contributed to our parting. But marking that day as a turning point is at best the prod- uct of an attempt to comprehend, to impose meaning; it is not evidence of clear understanding. I can’t really say that I knew then—or know now—what actually happened. Nevertheless, January 29, 1983, still seems to mark a turning point, if only because I still can hear that frantic banging at the front door.
Speak, Memory
I will try to address my relationship with Phyllis and the relationships with the Rebells, with Harry, and with the synagogue at this point in my narrative, before I return to January 29 and its aftermath.
As you undoubtedly have seen, my memory for specific events of long ago turns out to be quite detailed. Oddly, however, the years of my first married life, with the exception of peak events and events occur- ring after January 29, 1983, are a virtual blur.
The “resume” of my marriage with Phyllis is simply restated:
• Phyllis and I met in 1967, were engaged in September 1968, and married on March 15, 1969.
• After Phyllis and I married, we lived in a one-bedroom apartment on West 100th Street in Park West Village in Manhattan.
• Danny was born on November 16, 1970.
• In 1970, we moved to a two-bedroom apartment at 10 Plaza Street on Grand Army Plaza in Brooklyn.
• 365 •