Page 508 - WhyAsInY

Why (as in yaverbaum)
• A woman who is a CPA with a law degree from Harvard, who carries a company phone (this is the eighties), comes and goes by limo, virtually vibrates when deals are discussed, and is struggling to become the first female partner in Goldman Sachs (successfully, it transpires) is too wired, even for you. Well, not really, but she was also Orthodox.
• Do not place a great deal of trust in a woman who tells you that she is only dating for fun, that she is not in it for the long run, and that there are “no rules” and then spontaneously commences to cry when she learns that you have had a vasectomy.
• Do not assume that, within two weeks after you have had your vasectomy reversed at Mount Sinai Hospital, there will be a long line of thirty-year-olds at your apartment door. And certainly do not assume that your insurance company won’t ask to have the cost of the procedure refunded to it.
• Touring with attractive real estate brokers whom you know from your earlier life with the idea of getting connected with their attrac- tive friends will more likely lead you to attractive houses than to attractive people.
• When you meet a cute young lady from Virginia, ask yourself why one of the first things that she performs for you is her school cheer: “We don’t smoke! We don’t drink! Norfolk!!”
• Of the scores of young runners in Central Park at 7:00 in the morn- ing who are wearing bright colorful tights and have their ponytails tantalizingly swaying in the breeze, those who are most likely to be attracted to you when you intentionally take your runs at the same time—are virtually certain to be men.
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