Page 506 - WhyAsInY

Why (as in yaverbaum)
when you turn them, you will not hesitate or falter, then, when you firmly press the “Start” knob, the appliance will be fooled into think- ing that you are a woman and, amazingly enough, will actually commence to operate properly!
• If you find yourself standing alone in a long lift line at Mid-Vail and a woman yells, “Single,”13 entertain the entire crowd by yelling out, “Recently separated,” and you might get more than a seat out of it.
• If you ask your blind date an innocuous question and she glares at you, says, “That’s personal,” and refuses to answer, you’re not off to good start. The phrase “Watch it, buster!” is also not such a good sign.
• If, no matter how often you are there, the large analog clock in the kitchen of the woman whom you have been dating is showing twenty minutes to five, and she tells you that that is not an oversight, it is also not a good sign.
• You’renotlikelytoestablishalastingrelationshipwithawomanwho carries a color wheel and constantly and solemnly brings it into play, even if the color wheel is her third most memorable characteristic.
• If, on your second date, the woman does not ask to split the check (even if she knows that you are likely to decline her request), she either is not interested in demonstrating that she is liberated or, more likely, is happy to be taken care of. Either way, avoid taking her to expensive restaurants.
• In fact, avoid taking any date, other than a third date, to an expen- sive restaurant.
13. For you non-skiers, and I hope that there are few of you, yelling, “Single,” is something that is customarily done (if you’re not skiing with a companion) to ensure that every seat on the lift is fully occupied and the lengthy lift line is thereby reduced for everyone’s benefit.
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