Page 9 - Grace.SUMMER.2021

Love is….

Long suffering

T he phone rang at 1:51am. No good news The last nine years have been many times I have need support. We have to combat the shame by

bringing this issue into the light, and love, of Christ.
symbolically laid my son
an emotional, and spiritual,
We must do a better job at loving addicts. Instead
back at the foot of the cross.
comes at that hour. My son was calling from tug-of-war as the inevitable I can’t control him, change of looking at them in disdain, we must remember
escalation ensued. There have
jail…again. I thought he was doing well this time. him, or fix him. But I DO they are someone’s child, brother, sister,
been car accidents (one that
He was working a regular job (with benefits!) for the know that Jesus wants to set grandchild, or even a parent to little ones being
almost took his life), broken
first time in a year and doing tattoos as a side him free and heal the raised by foster parents or family members. I am
promises,suicide threats,
hustle. We talked about as frequently as you would wounds that drive him to certain that we would be shocked by how many
overdoses, unexplained
expect a mother and adult son to talk, once or twice escape his pain through other families we know are being rocked by
injuries, manipulations worthy
a week. Last I knew, he was wearing a suboxone drugs. So, I pray…fervently. I addiction if we brought it into the light. There isn’t
of an Oscar, and still the
patch in his latest attempt at getting free from a pray protection over him. I an instruction manual for this, and the right support
fierceness of a mother’s love
heroin addiction. He was checking in with pray the Lord will put isn’t always easy to find. It’s long past time for the
for her only child. There is a
probation. He had a car, a job, a plan, and a safe someone, anyone, in his church to address addiction and provide support for
constant tension between
place to stay, albeit temporarily. He also had a path who will speak truth and families facing this issue.
helping/supporting and
trigger. I don’t know what the trigger was this time; life to him. I exercise my faith
enabling; fear and faith; tough
there have been a lot of them over the years. While muscles that my prodigal will Currently my son is clean, but he is still battling his
love and grace. Walking a
the inner details of the demons that haunt him are eventually come home. And, demons on his own terms. He has many legal and
tightrope is not for the faint of
his story to tell, I want to share how his ongoing I remind myself that Jesus financial issues to overcome (this goes hand-in-
heart.
battle with drugs has impacted my life, and how it loves him even more than I hand with addiction), and his future is uncertain, as
has stretched my love and my faith. do. there are still pending court dates. My prayer will
A host of negative emotions
always be that he will choose to surrender his will
come with loving an addict:
I later learned that, around age 17, he started Addiction is pain wrapped in to the Lord and recognize that he cannot overcome
anger, frustration, pain, fear,
smoking pot regularly. From ages 18-22 he lived shame, both for the addict this in his own strength. Addiction itself is merely a
panic, shame, grief,
with roommates, held good jobs (often 2-3 at a and for those who love them. symptom of unresolved underlying issues. So, I
exhaustion, hopelessness and
time), drove a decent car, and…told his momma a Shame convinces us to wear pray, and I hope, and I trust. To be honest, some
doubt. I have felt all of these,
lot of lies. There were pills and partying, and he hid a mask and pretend days are easier than others. Some days the fear
sometimes in the same day,
it well during those years. He was what is known everything is okay. chases me down, and grief over what has been lost
with the most pervasive being
as a “high-functioning” addict, and that is not a Especially in church. There threatens to overwhelm me. Still, I will choose to
fear and shame. These
sustainable lifestyle. A crisis point came with a loss is a stigma with addiction love him, and trust the Lord. I will walk through the
emotions must be combated
of a job and an eviction. So, he came to live with and, adding the shame and fire to plead protection and freedom for my son. I
with faith, scripture, worship
me for a while. That’s when I got a front-row seat to sense of failure most parents will thank the Lord for the supernatural peace only
and a love that won’t let go of
his addictions and an education in street drugs that feel, it becomes another He can give when my thoughts and fears swirl out
hope. Sometimes, it is an hour-
I never saw coming. thing we don’t discuss in of control and threaten to overtake me. And I will
by-hour or minute-by-minute
church. Addicts need remind myself that He leaves the 99 to rescue the
battle. I cannot tell you how
freedom. Parents/siblings one. 9