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How Do We

Build Character?

By Rifka Schonfeld, Director of S.O.S.
(Strategies For Optimum Success)

“Character cannot be developed in ease and qui- around me?”
Ğƚ͘ KŶůLJ ƚŚƌŽƵŐŚ ĞdžƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞ ŽĨ ƚƌŝĂů ĂŶĚ ƐƵīĞƌŝŶŐ
ĐĂŶ ƚŚĞ ƐŽƵů ďĞ ƐƚƌĞŶŐƚŚĞŶĞĚ͕ ĂŵďŝƟŽŶ ŝŶƐƉŝƌĞĚ͕ Building Character
and success achieved.” – Helen Keller
/Ŷ ŚŝƐ Ŭ͕ ,Žǁ ŚŝůĚƌĞŶ ^ƵĐĐĞĞĚ͗ 'ƌŝƚ͕ ƵƌŝŽƐŝƚLJ͕
All of us wish to act in kind, compassionate, and and the Hidden Power of Character, Paul Tough
intelligent ways. We all wish to build character. ĂƌŐƵĞƐ ƚŚĂƚ ŝƚ ŝƐ ŶŽŶͲĐŽŐŶŝƟǀĞ ƐŬŝůůƐ ůŝŬĞ ƉĞƌƐŝƐ-
But, is there a blue print to character-building? ƚĞŶĐĞ͕ ƐĞůĨͲĐŽŶƚƌŽů͕ ĐƵƌŝŽƐŝƚLJ͕ ĐŽŶƐĐŝĞŶƟŽƵƐŶĞƐƐ͕
Can you build character in a methodological way? Őƌŝƚ ĂŶĚ ƐĞůĨͲĐŽŶĮĚĞŶĐĞ ƚŚĂƚ ĂƌĞ ĐƌƵĐŝĂů ƚŽ ĐŚĂƌĂĐ-
ter building and success later in life.
In his book The Road to Character, New York Times
ĐŽůƵŵŶŝƐƚ ĂǀŝĚ ƌŽŽŬƐ ĂƩĂĐŬƐ ƚŚŝƐ ƋƵĞƐƟŽŶ͗ ŚŽǁ ,Ğ ǁƌŝƚĞƐ ƚŚĂƚ ŵŽƐƚ ƉĞŽƉůĞ ŚĂǀĞ ƚŚĞ ͞ĐŽŐŶŝƟǀĞ ŚLJ-
do you build character? He begins by describing pothesis,” the belief “that success today depends
what Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik explains in his ƉƌŝŵĂƌŝůLJ ŽŶ ĐŽŐŶŝƟǀĞ ƐŬŝůůƐ Ͷ ƚŚĞ ŬŝŶĚ ŽĨ ŝŶƚĞůůŝ-
1965 book The Lonely Man of Faith. In the book, gence that gets measured on I.Q. tests, including
ZĂďďŝ ^ŽůŽǀĞŝƚĐŚŝŬ ĚŝīĞƌĞŶƟĂƚĞƐ ďĞƚǁĞĞŶ ĚĂŵ ƚŚĞ ĂďŝůŝƟĞƐ ƚŽ ƌĞĐŽŐŶŝnjĞ ůĞƩĞƌƐ ĂŶĚ ǁŽƌĚƐ͕ ƚŽ ĐĂů-
Harishon’s impulses. He labels the dueling part of ĐƵůĂƚĞ͕ ƚŽ ĚĞƚĞĐƚ ƉĂƩĞƌŶƐ Ͷ ĂŶĚ ƚŚĂƚ ƚŚĞ ďĞƐƚ ǁĂLJ
ŵĂŶ͛Ɛ ŶĂƚƵƌĞ͗ ĚĂŵ / ĂŶĚ ĚĂŵ //͘ ƚŽ ĚĞǀĞůŽƉ ƚŚĞƐĞ ƐŬŝůůƐ ŝƐ ƚŽ ƉƌĂĐƟĐĞ ƚŚĞŵ ĂƐ ŵƵĐŚ
as possible, beginning as early as possible.” Or, as
As Brooks explains it, “Adam I is the worldly, am- Rabbi Soloveitchik would put it, “Adam I” skills.
ďŝƟŽƵƐ͕ ĞdžƚĞƌŶĂů ƐŝĚĞ ŽĨ ŽƵƌ ŶĂƚƵƌĞ͘ ,Ğ ǁĂŶƚƐ ƚŽ
build, create, create companies, create innova- Instead, Tough explains that through his extensive
ƟŽŶ͘ ĚĂŵ // ŝƐ ƚŚĞ ŚƵŵďůĞ ƐŝĚĞ ŽĨ ŽƵƌ ŶĂƚƵƌĞ͘ research (and the research of others), he believes
Adam II wants not only to do good but to be good, we should ascribe to the “character hypothesis.”
ƚŽ ůŝǀĞ ŝŶ Ă ǁĂLJ ŝŶƚĞƌŶĂůůLJ ƚŚĂƚ ŚŽŶŽƌƐ 'ŽĚ͕ ĐƌĞĂƟŽŶ In other words, the best way to get ahead in life
ĂŶĚ ŽƵƌ ƉŽƐƐŝďŝůŝƟĞƐ͘ ĚĂŵ / ǁĂŶƚƐ ƚŽ ĐŽŶƋƵĞƌ ƚŚĞ is to build character (Adam II skills). And, how is
world. Adam II wants to hear a calling and obey character built? According to Tough, character is
the world. Adam I savors accomplishment. Adam created by encountering and overcoming failure.
II savors inner consistency and strength. Adam And, character is just what children need to con-
I asks how things work. Adam II asks why we’re ƟŶƵĞ ƚŽ ƐƵĐĐĞĞĚ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ĐůĂƐƐƌŽŽŵ ĂŶĚ ďĞLJŽŶĚ͘
ŚĞƌĞ͘ ĚĂŵ /͛Ɛ ŵŽƩŽ ŝƐ ͞ƐƵĐĐĞƐƐ͘͟ ĚĂŵ //͛Ɛ ŵŽƩŽ
ŝƐ ͞ůŽǀĞ͕ ƌĞĚĞŵƉƟŽŶ ĂŶĚ ƌĞƚƵƌŶ͘͟
EŽŶͲ ŽŐŶŝƟǀĞ ^ŬŝůůƐ
Today, you could argue that we live in a world that
favors Adam I. As Brooks argues, today we live in Persistence. Persistence is about knowing what
the world of “big me” or “look at me, I’m spec- LJŽƵ ǁĂŶƚ ĂŶĚ ŶŽƚ ƐƚŽƉƉŝŶŐ ƵŶƟů LJŽƵ ŐĞƚ ŝƚ͘ ZĞ-
ƚĂĐƵůĂƌ͊͟ ƌĂƚŚĞƌ ƚŚĂŶ ůŝǀŝŶŐ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ǁŽƌůĚ ŽĨ ͞ůŝƩůĞ ŵĞŵďĞƌ tĂƩLJ WŝƉĞƌ͛Ɛ dŚĞ >ŝƩůĞ ŶŐŝŶĞ ƚŚĂƚ
ŵĞ͟ Žƌ ͞ŚŽǁ ĚŽ / Įƚ ŝŶ ĂŶĚ ĐŽŶƚƌŝďƵƚĞ ƚŽ ƚŚĞ ǁŽƌůĚ ŽƵůĚ͍ tŚŝůĞ ƚŚĞ ůŝƩůĞ ďůƵĞ ĞŶŐŝŶĞ ŝƐ ƚŚĞ ƐŵĂůůĞƐƚ

October 13 '21 The Bulletin 718.387.0123 • www.willbulletin.com Y-48