Page 81 - 15-48 March 20 2019
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Flipping the Switch
on Friendship
By Rifka Schonfeld, Director of S.O.S.
(Strategies For Optimum Success)
Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we could ƉƌĞƐƐŝŽŶ ĂƐ ǁĞ ĂŐĞ ĐŽƵůĚ ďĞ ĂƩƌŝďƵƚĞĚ ƚŽ
plug some numbers into a calculator and a dwindling group of friends because we
emerge with friendship? But, friend- ƐƉĞŶĚ ůĞƐƐ ƟŵĞ ƐŽĐŝĂůŝnjŝŶŐ ƚŚĂŶ ǁĞ ĚŝĚ
ships don’t work like that, right? Former ǁŚŝůĞ ŝŶ ƐĐŚŽŽů͘
& / ĂŐĞŶƚ :ĂĐŬ ^ĐŚĂĨĞƌ ďĞŐƐ ƚŽ ĚŝīĞƌ͘ /Ŷ
his new book, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI :ŽƵƌŶĂůŝƐƚ DĂƌůĂ WĂƵů͕ ĂƵƚŚŽƌ ŽĨ The
ŐĞŶƚ͛Ɛ 'ƵŝĚĞ ƚŽ /ŶŇƵĞŶĐŝŶŐ͕ ƩƌĂĐƟŶŐ͕ &ƌŝĞŶĚƐŚŝƉ ƌŝƐŝƐ͗ &ŝŶĚŝŶŐ͕ DĂŬŝŶŐ͕ ĂŶĚ
ĂŶĚ tŝŶŶŝŶŐ WĞŽƉůĞ KǀĞƌ͕ explains that <ĞĞƉŝŶŐ &ƌŝĞŶĚƐ tŚĞŶ zŽƵ͛ƌĞ EŽƚ Ă
there is a friendship formula that people <ŝĚ ŶLJŵŽƌĞ͕ explains that friendships
can use to make friends, assume leader- ͞Ɛƚ ŽƵƌ ŝŵŵƵŶĞ ƐLJƐƚĞŵ͕ ĂŶĚ ǁĞ ŚĂǀĞ
ƐŚŝƉ ƉŽƐŝƟŽŶƐ Ăƚ ǁŽƌŬ͕ ĂŶĚ ĞǀĞŶ ŐĞƚ ƚŚĞ Ă ŚĞĂůƚŚŝĞƌ ĐĂƌĚŝŽǀĂƐĐƵůĂƌ ƐLJƐƚĞŵ ǁŚĞŶ
Bulletin
ũŽď ŝŶ Ă ŚŝŐŚ ƉƌĞƐƐƵƌĞ ŝŶƚĞƌǀŝĞǁ͘ ǁĞ ƐƉĞŶĚ ƟŵĞ ǁŝƚŚ ĨƌŝĞŶĚƐ͘ KƵƌ ŵĞŵŽƌLJ
ŝƐ ĞŶŚĂŶĐĞĚ ĂŶĚ ǁĞ ƐůĞĞƉ ŵŽƌĞ ĚĞĞƉůLJ͘
Before, we get to the formula, it’s impor- dŚĞ ůŝƐƚ ŐŽĞƐ ŽŶ ĂďŽƵƚ ŚŽǁ ƐƉĞŶĚŝŶŐ ƟŵĞ
ƚĂŶƚ ƚŽ ĂƐŬ ǁŚLJ ǁĞ ĞǀĞŶ ŶĞĞĚ ĨƌŝĞŶĚƐ͘ ǁŝƚŚ ĨƌŝĞŶĚƐ ĂŶĚ ŚĂǀŝŶŐ ĐůŽƐĞ ĐŽŶĮĚĂŶƚĞƐ
Research shows that those with close ƐƵƉƉŽƌƚƐ ŽƵƌ ŚĞĂůƚŚ͘͟
ĨƌŝĞŶĚƐ ůŝǀĞ ůŽŶŐĞƌ͕ ĂƌĞ ŚĂƉƉŝĞƌ͕ ĂŶĚ ĨĞĞů
ůĞƐƐ ƐƚƌĞƐƐĞĚ͘ tĞ Ăůů ŚĂǀĞ ĞdžƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞĚ dŚĞ ďĞŶĞĮƚƐ ŽĨ ĨƌŝĞŶĚƐŚŝƉ ĂƌĞ ƉĂƌƟĐƵůĂƌůLJ
ƚŚŝƐ͗ ĂŌĞƌ ƐƉĞŶĚŝŶŐ ƟŵĞ ǁŝƚŚ Ă ŐŽŽĚ ƉŽƚĞŶƚ ĨŽƌ ǁŽŵĞŶ ĂƐ ŽƉƉŽƐĞĚ ƚŽ ŵĞŶ͘
ĨƌŝĞŶĚ͕ ǁĞ ĨĞĞů ĞŶĞƌŐŝnjĞĚ ĂŶĚ ŚĂƉƉŝĞƌ͘ Experts are unclear about why women
tĞ ǁĂůŬ ĂďŽƵƚ ŵŽƌĞ ůŝŐŚƚůLJ ŽŶ ŽƵƌ ĨĞĞƚ͘ generally need more close friendships
/Ŷ ĂĚĚŝƟŽŶ͕ ŝĨ ǁĞ ƐŚĂƌĞ ƉĂŝŶ ǁŝƚŚ Ă ĨƌŝĞŶĚ͕ ƚŚĂŶ ŵĞŶ͕ ĂŶĚ ĂƩƌŝďƵƚĞ ŝƚ ƚŽ ĚŝīĞƌĞŶƚ
ǁĞ ĨĞĞů ůĞƐƐ ƐĂĚ͘ KŶ Ă ĚĞĞƉĞƌ ůĞǀĞů͕ ĞŵŽƟŽŶĂů ŶĞĞĚƐ͘ /Ŷ ĂĚĚŝƟŽŶ͕ ŵĂŶLJ
friendships protect us from depression ŵĞŶ ĐŽƵŶƚ ƚŚĞŝƌ ǁŝǀĞƐ ĂŵŽŶŐ ƚŚĞŝƌ ďĞƐƚ
ĂŶĚ ĂŶdžŝĞƚLJ͘ /Ŷ ĨĂĐƚ͕ ƉƐLJĐŚŽůŽŐŝƐƚ DĂƌƟŶ ĨƌŝĞŶĚƐ͘
^ĞůŝŐŵĂŶ ĂƌŐƵĞƐ ƚŚĂƚ ŚŝŐŚĞƌ ůĞǀĞůƐ ŽĨ ĚĞ-
March 19 '19 # 0'' /$) ǚǔǛǻǖǛǚǻǓǔǕǖ ȗ 222ǻ2$'' 0'' /$)ǻ *( Y-52
