Page 38 - 2019 Senior Will

And now here I am. It’s 12:11 in the morning of my final Game Day here at UD. To be quite honest, I’m feeling a huge mix of emotions right now. Pride, sadness, love, gratefulness, and even a tinge of fear. This thing that’s been a part of me for EIGHT YEARS, this thing that’s truly shaped me into the man I am today, this thing that, for a brief time freshman year of college, I wasn’t even sure I was going to get to still be a part, is about to come to a close. Sure, I’ll always have my connections to it, but my role in the marching arts as I know it is about to change in a BIG way. I’ve taken time today to reflect with several of my closest friends, all of whom I’ve met through this 300+ person family. These are people that I know, in my heart of hearts, that I will ALWAYS keep in touch with, no matter how much time or distance may separate us. Words cannot even begin to express how thankful I am to have even gotten the chance to be a part of this wild and wacky rollercoaster. I have NO idea what emotions and memories will come with tomorrow, but I do know this. I am going to cherish every moment of tomorrow, and I’m going to make sure that it is a day I can look back on as a true celebration of the past eight years. Part of me is ready to move on to the next biggest and best thing, and part of me doesn’t want to let go, and honestly I don’t know which side is prevailing right now. I don’t know how I lucked out this year with the guys in my section that I have, or with the opportunities I’ve been given, but hell there has never been a dull moment this season, and I mean that in the BEST way possible. Tomorrow is for every person that I’ve come across in my life that told me I wasn’t good enough or thought that I would just quit after my first season of marching band. Tomorrow is for every person I’ve come across in my life that has supported me and been a guide or a mentor or even just an ear to lend. Tomorrow is for me, that crazy kid from New Jersey that picked up a set of drumsticks in fifth grade with absolutely NO IDEA the journey he was about to embark on. Here’s to one last time getting to throw down with my family.
We’ve reached the day after... I really can’t express how much raw emotion was out there on the field. Even approaching 24 hours later, every moment I spent on that field sticks with me. Shockingly, I didn’t cry nearly as much as I thought I would. Instead, post-game brought with it a sense of reflection and true awe (which became VERY QUICKLY replaced by crying this morning). Four years ago, 17-year-old Matthew watched a group of seniors be sent off into the real world, uncertain of what would come next. He watched them turn around and look back on the legacy they would leave behind and reflect on all of the lives that they’ve touched during their time in the UDMB. He watched them sing a song that went from just being a bunch of lyrics, to being a true life motto, and a true force that propels them through life. And yesterday, 21-year-old Matthew did just that. I went through senior show knowing this was my last chance to put all of my energy into a performance that would be remembered. It wasn’t perfect (hell the final run of To Boldly Go wasn’t even that perfect, I messed up more than I would like to admit), but it was perfect to me. The entirety of postgame last night was just me being myself, and that’s more than I could ask for. I got to play with my family. Some of those dudes I can regard as my closest friends, and some, to be quite honest, I wish I was better friends with. But I got to be with them, and that matters so much more than having a no-mistakes run. Part of the beauty of the marching arts is working for hours on end to perfect a product so that it’s final swan song is spotless, yes, but the part that so many people forget about is that it’s also about sharing an immense energy with the people around you. That’s an energy that NOBODY feels but YOU. NOBODY can take that shared energy away from you. If you go through your time in band ONLY concerned about YOUR performance, and how YOU are improving, you miss the point of it all. It’s about that shared love for music, that translates into a love for each other and a willingness to help each other become the best musician and person they can be. And oh how the love was there. It’s truly such a humbling thing when people, who you thought you barely had any impact on, come up to you thanking you profusely for everything you’ve done. It’s even more humbling when you see the three people that you really went through all of college with, and all you can say to them is “Thank You” over and over and over again.