Page 50 - Vision Manual

Assertiveness and Conflict Resolution
Building social support is a challenging, but rewarding, process that requires us to be patient with others, spend time with them, and manage difficulties as they come up. Some skills that are required to manage our relationships with others and get needs met with people that we might not know as well, or even want to know. One of these skills is learning how to be assertive.
What is Assertiveness?
Assertiveness is a hard idea to define. It generally refers to the ability to be self-assured and confident when asking for things or setting limits with others. It is different from passivity, which is a way of interacting with people in a minimal way, giving in to them and not asking for support. It is also much different from aggression, which is a way of getting needs met through threats, intimidation, and/or making people feel uncomfortable, unhappy, or even hurting them. An assertive person is one who states the situation clearly, lets others know how they feel without blaming, and plainly asks for what they need, or sets a clear limit.
When to be Assertive
Assertiveness is a skill that can be used any time that you need to ask for something, express a need to a friend, family member or caregiver, say not to someone, or set a clear limit. Examples might include asking a psychiatrist to make a medication adjustment, getting a ride to the grocery store with a family member, saying no to a friend who wants to borrow money, or ask a neighbor to stop playing loud music late at night. Assertiveness really covers any situation in which you want something that involves other people, and you need to communicate with those people to get it.
How to be Assertive
There is no one straightforward rule on how to be assertive, but there are some general ideas that are common the ideas around assertiveness. A handy way to remember these skills is by using the Acronym DEAR MAN.
Describe what’s going on Express what you feel Assert what you want Reward the other person
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