Page 132 - Horizons Manual
P. 132

   D
  Describe:
   Put into words what happened
 Stick to the facts
 Keep it brief
   E
  Express:
   Share how you feel about what happened (the facts)
 Use “I” statements
   A
   Assert:
    Say exactly what you want
 Keep it brief and to the point
 Speak clearly
   R
  Reinforce:
   Let them know what is in it for them if they agree
 Focus on a reward, rather than a threat
   M
 (stay) Mindful:
 Remember what you want and your goal of using the DEAR MAN
 Don’t get distracted, stay on the point
 Ignore threats, judgments, or attacks from other people
 Use the “Broken Record” skill if needed
    A
   Appear Confident:
    Make eye contact
 Face the person you are talking to
 Speak clearly and calmly
 Use an assertive tone of voice
 Use confident body language
   N
  Negotiate:
   If needed, compromise to get your needs/wants met
 If they say “no”, ask for something else
 Find another solution
 Turn the tables – ask them how they can make it work
for you.
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