Page 133 - Horizons Manual

Example: Youfeelupsetbecauseyourgrouphomestaffagreedtotake
you to the store. It is 5 pm and they have not taken you yet. Here is an example of how a DEAR MAN would be used to assert your needs.
D
E A
R
M
A
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Interpersonal Effectiveness
Describe:
Put into words what happened
You promised me you would take me to the store today. It is already 5pm.
Express:
Share how you feel about what happened
I feel angry about this. I feel like you don’t care.
Assert:
Say exactly what you want
Will you please take me to the store right now?
Reinforce/Reward:
Let them know what is in it for them if they agree
If you take me to the store I’d be really thankful and try to do my chores on time tonight.
(stay) Mindful:
Remember what you want and your goal
 Stay focused on your goal of going to the store
 Avoid any distractions from other person
 Keep asking if needed
Appear Confident:
 Use eye contact
 Speak clearly and calmly
 Be assertive
 Take deep breaths if you get
frustrated
Negotiate:
If needed, compromise to get your needs/wants met
Since we cannot go right now, how about at 7pm instead?
OR
Is there another day that works?
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