Page 145 - Horizons Manual

Assertive Communication
There are different types of communication. It is helpful to be able to identify each style so that you can communicate assertively.
Passive:
 Avoids expressing an opinion, need or want
 Often keeps things inside, stuffs things, is quiet
 Consequences: You don’t get your needs met, people may take
advantage of you, you may feel bad about yourself or have outbursts after stuffing things for a long time, you may get angry at others
Aggressive:
 Uses inappropriate behaviors to express an opinion, need, or want
 May be forceful, controlling, threatening, loud, rude, mean,
overbearing, and/or abusive
 Consequences: People may not like you, other people might feel bad,
you could lose relationships, you might feel bad about yourself
Passive Aggressive:
 Passive (quiet, keeps things in) on the surface or at first, but aggressively asserts needs after the fact
 Sometimes wants other people to read their mind or guess what they want or need
 Subtle, indirect, keeps other people guessing
 Consequences: Set people up to fail, might not get needs met, makes
others feel bad, creates difficulty in relationships.
Assertive:
 Clearly and directly states what they want and/or need
 Speaks calmly and clearly, no anger or loud voices
 Acts calm and confident
 Stands up for what they believe in
 Respectful
 Uses “I” statements
 Listens without interrupting
Interpersonal Effectiveness
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