Page 101 - EAP Manual

Interpersonal Effectiveness I Messages
I Messages help:
 Reduce tension
 Remove blame
 Reduce labels & name- calling
 Increase ownership
 Add detail to my experience to let others know where I’m coming from
I Messages look like:
 I feel...when...
 I think...
 I prefer...
 I want you to know...
 I need you to know...
 I would like...
In stead of saying: You are annoying!
Try saying: I feel annoyed when I’m talking to you and you’re on your phone.
Situation You Message I Message
A friend promises to return your iPod. After a reminder, she forgets it again.
You’re making me angry.
I would like my iPod back because I’m feeling upset that you haven’t returned it after I have asked twice.
You answer a question in class and see your friend whisper a comment to another friend.
You’re stupid.
I feel hurt when I see you whisper right after I answered the teacher’s question.
A classmate called you a name.
You’re parent just grounded you but doesn’t seem to ever ground your siblings.
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