Page 90 - EAP Manual

Emotion Regulation ATTENDING TO RELATIONSHIPS
Attention to Relationships (A2R)—focus on others to feel connected & regulated
Having relationships is sort of like growing a garden. Plants tend to grow & bloom if they’re noticed & cared for. Similarly, if I take time for relationships
then they are more likely to be effective, healthy, & productive.
Talk to & spend time with others regularly to:
 feel more comfortable around others
 strengthen the bond
 share experiences & create memories 
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Talk about problems right away—don’t let them build up!
 anger & resentment hurts relationships
 emotions grow & build up
 disagreements are more manageable when they are small 
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Use skills to avoid problems.
 set limits & respect the limits set by others
 stand up for yourself if someone disrespects or crosses limits
 ask questions to clarify
 be gentle & kind 
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Balance sharing with listening—Give & Take
 share information AND ask questions
 actively listen—don’t forget about non-verbals 
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