Page 34 - DINQ MAGAZINE MARCH 2021 EDITION

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DATING CORNER

Source: NPR.org
o figure out how to help an to check every box is a recipe for folding the laundry," Hoffman says.
existing relationship thrive disappointment and resentment. "Then set a time that you and your
T during the coronavirus crisis, partner can come back and have this
"Rather than looking at your partner
we checked in with Damona Hoff- discussion. So say, 'Why don't we talk
man. She's a certified dating and rela- as just your best friend and your inti- about this tonight after the kids go to
tionship coach and host of the pod- mate partner," Hoffman says, "try to bed or tomorrow after I've had a
find other avenues and other people
cast Dates & Mates. She's also under chance to talk to my therapist?' "
in your support network that you
lockdown with her spouse and two
children. can connect with virtually or Even in lockdown, there are lots of
[through] a distance hangout." That ways to access therapy, from virtual
Here are four tips to help your rela- way, the pressure is off your partner appointments to apps, Hoffman says.
tionship survive: to be your sole support. "Use the tools that we have available
so that you can be your best self in
1. Make a plan to spend 3. When feathers are ruffled,
the relationship." (Here are more tips
meaningful time together. listen and take breaks.
on accessing therapy from home.)
"I recommend setting up an actual Fights with your partner during lock-
date night. There's so many things that down are different. You can't go get 4. Don't ignore the elephant
you can do at home to still make it advice over drinks with your friends. in the room.
special," Hoffman says. "Maybe even You may not even be able to move This is a tumultuous, isolating and
something nostalgic that reminds you to a different room. What's the solu- uncertain time. If you find yourself
why you're together in the first place." tion? turning to unhealthy coping mecha-
nisms or addictions, don't try to
Game night, sip and paint, stargazing, "What I would love to see people do
sweep them under the rug. It proba-
anything! "When's the last time that is to focus on listening and under-
bly won't work very well, and doing
you took a moment to go outside and standing right now," Hoffman says. so "really can be a silent relationship
actually look up at the stars? Get your "It's really easy when you are in an killer," Hoffman says. "These are the
little blanket to cuddle up, keep it argument to try to be heard and to
exact kind of things that you need
cute." impress your perspective on the oth-
your partner to be your support sys-
er person. But especially right now,

2. Don't expect your partner to be there are a lot of problems that do tem on."

your everything. not have a solution, that will not be
resolved by you making your point." Hoffman says to talk about the ele-
Your significant other might be the phant in the room. "If you just shine
only person you're getting within 6 If you're in a fight, try putting a a light on it so that everyone knows
feet of, but they can't fulfill your every pause on the conversation and doing it's here," she says, "then you can ac-
emotional need. Expecting one person something else. "It might just be tually talk about what's going on."

34 “ኢትዮጵያ ለዘላለም ትኑር ” ድንቅ መጽሔት መጋቢት 2013