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2 June 10, 2016 Commentary BULLSEYE
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Shattering the silence
By Anonymous that the Air Force is changing toxic red Walking on eggshells just to keep the my boundaries and understanding that
dots to green. peace isn’t living. Making excuses for what I experienced was abuse.
ROBINS AIR FORCE BASE, Ga. explosive behavior in public isn’t living.
(AFNS) — I’m tired of the sound of silence. I clung to these green dots and they And neither is being called names that Moving on from abuse, I keep a quote
helped pull me out of the toxic fog of a cut you to the core. There are people in from Maya Angelou close to my heart as
At a recent Green Dot leadership life I had been living. A green dot is any this world who only feel good if they’re a baseline of my boundaries.
training session, I was asked to write behavior, choice, word or attitude that causing someone else pain. That is not
down on a piece of paper an action that promotes safety for all of our citizens love, and that was the hell I lived in until It reads, “When someone shows you
I would do as a leader to help implement and communicates utter intolerance for I clawed my way out, re-establishing who they are, believe them the first
culture change. violence. time.”
I wrote, “Write a commentary on I ignored the red flags, lost my voice
domestic assault which I experienced.” and had my world shattered. Sharing
this story, I am your green dot.
Experiencing domestic abuse took my
voice away, and during the thick of it, I If you’re experiencing life living
didn’t even recognize myself anymore. around red dots, I hope these words
Well, I have my voice back and I’m break- reach you. I hope they empower you to
ing my silence. reach out to the green, to an already es-
tablished safety net that will catch you,
According to the training, red dots help you and give you your voice back.
represent an act of power-based personal
violence or the choice to tolerate, justify The momentum of the Green Dot
or perpetuate violence. My whole life program needs to not only propel its way
at one point was a red dot where my through our service, but throughout our
body and boundaries were abused, but I society, establishing healthy boundaries
turned to my green dots — family, col- that banish toxic red dots.
leagues and leadership — for help.
Editor’s note: The author’s name was
It’s through programs, like Green Dot, redacted to protect their identity.
Same-sex relationship
By Airman 1st class Kristan campbell reer development courses, on-the-job “People think it’s not the same as lov- These days, our families are more ac-
training, fitness and deployment readiness. ing someone of the opposite gender, and cepting of our relationship. Emily’s mom
432nd Wing/432nd Air Expeditionary Wing that there’s something wrong with you,” messages me daily and we update each
I made her acquaintance through a Emily said. “I’ve never once questioned other continuously while Emily serves
CREECH AIR FORCE BASE, Nev.— friend who worked with her in the 432nd it, I just knew how I felt and acted on it. downrange.
President Barack H. Obama once said, Maintenance Squadron munitions flight. It’s not about gender, but how someone
“Every single American — gay, straight, When we met, we instantly clicked, and makes you feel.” For those who are going through
lesbian, bisexual, transgender — de- began dating after a few weeks of know- similar struggles, I can only urge you to
serves to be treated equally in the eyes ing each other. Luckily, I was able to find strength and be proud of who you are, no matter if you
of the law and in the eyes of our society.” resiliency through my Air Force family. I identify as gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual
We had many obstacles to overcome, will never forget the day that I came out or transgender. Coming out may seem
In light of June’s LGBT Pride Month, such as sharing our relationship with to my co-workers in my office. hard at first, but it gets easier with time.
the Air Force has made strides in how we family, friends and co-workers. It was a
regard these individuals as both military process that was difficult and sensitive, Although it was a day I had anticipated, Everyone was made differently. We all
members and human beings since the and we weren’t sure what we would be I was nervous to see their reactions. To my think, look and feel differently, and we
repeal of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell law facing, but we pressed on. surprise, they gave me unwavering sup- interpret our lives through very unique
in 2011. What used to be taboo has now port and treated me with the same level lenses. As the president and other top
become widely accepted by the Depart- In the beginning, Emily’s mom didn’t of respect as everyone else in my shop. leadership have said, everyone deserves
ment of Defense. take it well. Adding to our difficulties, respect and should be evaluated based on
she received orders for her first deploy- My fellow Airmen and supervisors character and merit, not sexual preference.
Even though many in this age are ment three weeks out from the date of checked on me regularly, offered me their
accepting of these changes, things her departure. help, and let me lean on them when I need- Every Airman is important and has
weren’t always so easy for my better ed it most. With the support of my shop, something unique to bring to the fight.
half, Emily, and I. When I met her, I For a while, it seemed like everything Emily and I were able to power through Embrace what makes you different! Trust
had just arrived at Creech Air Force was against us. For Emily, the unwilling- all our obstacles and remain hopeful, and in your Air Force family, and they will
Base, and was balancing work, ca- ness of individuals to accept our relation- eventually things became much easier. take care of you.
ship was perhaps the hardest part.
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