Page 2 - Edwards AFB Desert Wings 8-14-15

Desert Wings Commentary
2 www.aerotechnews.com/edwardsafb
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by Senior Airman Lauren-Taylor Levin
Mountain Home AFB, Idaho
As the dawn broke out over the mountains, I woke up to
the sun peeping through my window.
Once I got up I went straight to the kitchen to make my
family breakfast yet in the back of my mind, all I could think not only for my son, but myself as well. The only problem
about was, “how am I going to manage taking care of my
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I’ll have twice the amount of things to do at home all while
balancing my military work, made my heart sink a bit.
Growing up as a military child myself, I knew separation
could be extremely hard and hit at any time. Looking back,
I now know how alone my mother felt whenever my father
went on deployments or TDY. It seems like an eternity wait-
ing for your loved one to return home so you aren’t carrying
all the weight on your shoulders.
7KHUHDUHGR]HQVRIEDVHDJHQFLHVWRPDNHWKHVHVHSDUD- they can tell when a family member is gone or stressed. Al-
WLRQVHDVLHUEXW,GLGQ¶WUHDOL]HLW\HW though you may think it won’t rub off on them, it does.
After just three days of being with my children and trying
to balance everything I felt like the world was crashing down
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out if I was doing anything right and becoming completely
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my attitude and how quickly I would become agitated to
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My co-worker and I decided to hang out once a week to
discuss everything that was on our minds. Although it was
nice to vent and get some relief, it only went so far with
reducing the stress.
Unfortunately, because of the hours my husband worked,
I could only see him for an hour or two each day on Skype,
after I put the children down to sleep for the night.
A week went by and I had to pick up my children one
afternoon, and I was stopped by a staff member at the child
development center.
6KHDVNHG³,VWKHUHDQ\WKLQJJRLQJRQLQ\RXUKRXVHKROG"´ how quickly I would become agitated to
I explained how my husband was currently TDY and I’ve
been dealing with a lot of stress lately.
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wasn’t acting like himself either. I was so consumed with my
August 14, 2015
facebook.com/EdwardsDesertWings
own problems I didn’t even notice how my family was doing. This exercise helps to lead your child to learn, think and
The caregiver said, “Your son is starting to become an- take responsibility for their actions. Doing this gives the mes-
sage that your authority is not negotiable before you act with
tisocial, not eating as much food and becoming a bully at a consequence. This consequence doesn’t necessarily have to
GD\FDUH´ be a big thing. It can simply be redirecting your child toward
doing something else, like assisting you with putting items
I felt as if I was failing as a mother and I had to get help, away or reading a book with them.
is I had no idea where to start. He explained that the more I get involved with my chil-
dren’s life, the better. I should replace that sense of separa-
The caregiver gave me a pamphlet about dealing with tion with love and care, helping to distract that feeling of
separation and inside was a card. I called to make an ap- loneliness.
pointment to talk to the counselor about how I could help my
son and myself through this time of separation. 2QFHZH¿QLVKHGGLVFXVVLQJKRZ,FRXOGKHOSP\FKLOGUHQ
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As I met with the counselor, we discussed my everyday
URXWLQH1RWRQO\GLG,¿QGRXW,ZDVQ¶WIDLOLQJDVDPRWKHU Just as I was going to start talking my face turned bright
but I felt some kind of comfort. red because I knew everything I was carrying on my shoul-
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The counselor explained that regardless of a child’s age, cuss my struggles of trying to make sure everything was the
same as it was before my husband left. I was so focused on
trying to make sure everything was perfect I became over-
whelmed and stressed, not only myself, but my kids too.
As we continued our conversation he recommended I try
some exercises with my children and see their reactions to it. He later explained that no matter how much I want things
to be the same, they aren’t, and all I can do is make the best
One exercise in particular was the 1-2-3 method, also of each situation. Not only that, but I should take time to
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happens to have a tantrum or isn’t listening this is a great
exercise to try. I really took what he said to heart. My son is no longer
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After just three days of being with my VWLOOKDYHWRGHDOZLWKKLV³WHUULEOHWZR´PRPHQWVZLWKDQG
my 1-year-old daughter deciding to join him, but with some
children and trying to balance every- redirection, they’re back to normal.
thing I felt like the world was crashing Even when you feel there’s nowhere to turn for help,
GRZQRQPH,WZDVDVLI,ZDVD¿UVW there’s always someone who cares and can guide you in the
WLPHPRWKHUWU\LQJWR¿JXUHRXWLI,ZDV right direction. There are other resources on base to support
you in times of need, such as the Airman and Family Readi-
doing anything right and becoming com- QHVV&HQWHUNH\VSRXVHJURXSV¿UVWVKLUWVDQGPHQWDOKHDOWK
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Whether it’s a friend, family member, counselor or even
ing to notice a change in my attitude and just writing a journal there are always avenues for help.
You’re not alone.
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Commander’s
Action Line
email: speak2cc@edwards.af.mil
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