Page 11 - CORNICE GRADE 9

Witness Report

Don't

leave
the floors

wet or

should we?
It was supposed to
rs
be a simple afternoon,
laying on my couch
binging weird movies
from the 90’s.

Some may call it lame but I
sprained my arm, so it's
justifiable.
I was on my second, no, wait third bag of
fries, and my doctor said my cholesterol is
already dangerously high, but does that even
mean anything?

I had covered my windows with newspapers,
fearing that a government drone would spy on
me. A little hole on the paper let a little sunlight
into my eyes, and nothing irritated more. All of a
sudden I heard a banging in the next apartment.

I thought to myself, “The police finally got that rat, maybe
the government is good for something.” Sadly, it’s not true,
the government is still useless..

All of a sudden the alarm went off, and that’s when I realized that this
was a robbery. Without hesitation, my drama king self rushed outside,
opening my door to get a good view of what was going on.
There they were the security guards rushing in, and the burglar started to
run. Long story short, the burglar didn’t see the ‘wet floor’ sign. He slipped
and fell, and the guards arrested the thief. I have no idea what came over this
guy's head because he then started screaming and crying, pleading to let him
go, because it was his first robbery..

By this point all of us who came to watch the commotion had lost it, we were laughing. It
reminded me of the value of spending time with real people and not staying at home jobless,
without any goal in life.
Moral of the story: Leave the floors wet, because they seem to effectively stop burglaries.

-Aabhash Thapa

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