Page 62 - The 'X' Chronicles Newspaper March/April 2018 Edition

62 The Sun Is Gone

THE SUN IS GONE

A Sister Lost in Secrets, Shame, and Addiction, and How I Broke Free

How many times have you lost yourself in some chronic family crisis,
giving and giving until there is no more left to give—and yet you give
more. Out of love, out of duty, out of knowing that everyone looks to
you?
Whether that awful situation is a result of a horribly
dysfunctional family, chronic drug or alcohol addiction, sexual or
verbal abuse, living with the mentally ill, raising a disabled or autistic
child, the pain of a disintegrating marriage and divorce, the
responsibility that comes with parental healthcare decline, a jailed or
arrested partner or some other trauma?
As women, we have often learned from childhood that we are
the ones that must be the peacemakers, the problem-solvers, the
fixers—the ones to make concessions. And we sometimes do this with
dire consequences, losing our selves, sometimes our partners and our
children -- and even our souls.
Jodee Prouse knows this from experience. Her painfully honest
book The Sun Is Gone about trying to halt the alcoholic decline of her
beloved brother, amidst a lifetime of family crisis and dysfunction, is
both a cautionary tale and beacon of hope for women to find the
strength to make painful, but personally healthy choices.
Her story begins as a child where she becomes her sweet little
brother’s protector as her alcohol-fueled father rages in the night. The
grand-daughter, step-daughter, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, niece,
great-niece, aunt, cousin and ultimately sister to alcoholics, she
becomes the one pillar of strength in her immediate household as her
neglectful and emotionally-withholding mother moves on to a new
partner and divorce again. Eventually starting her own family with a
loving husband and two children, and beginning a business, Jodee
remains her brother, Brett’s best friend and safe harbor.
But as his drinking becomes apparent, grows worse and more
self-destructive, Jodee is drawn into a maelstrom of pain, co-
dependence, and battle of wills with her other family members. Her
deep love for her brother propels her forward to make choices and
What they are saying about The Sun Is sacrifices that are disempowering for herself, Brett and others.
Yet, finally, despite excruciating emotional pain, she comes to
Gone realize that she must put herself and her husband and children first—
and set boundaries—that she cannot fix someone else’s life. For
“A deeply intimate and moving story of trauma, loss, anyone dealing with an addictive family member, this experience will
addiction, tragedy and the possibility of redemption.” – especially resonate.
Gabor Maté M.D., author of In the Realm of Hungry But today, Jodee Prouse asserts that the need for women to take
Ghosts: Close Encounters With Addiction. back the control over their own lives –and disengage from the
maelstrom within a family crisis -- to no longer be an enabler -- is
"Addiction is a family disease and it will take a change of a universal.
whole family to turn it around. A poignant story of sibling Now a full time speaker and advocate living in Alberta CAN
love, the ability to change and the impact family structure has and Oroville, WA, after successfully building and selling her highly
on recovery." - Dr. Frank Lawlis, Author Not My Child, regarded beauty company, Jodee is also urging families to stop hiding
Chairman of the Dr. Phil Advisory Board and Co-founder in shame from “family secrets”—to deal with hidden emotions by
of the Lawlis Peavey PNP Center. sharing, speaking out and getting help, to lance wounds that lead to
pain, addiction, rage, regrets and family crisis.
"A courageous and unflinching portrait of a sister's journey to Says Jodee: “I know what it is like to feel powerless to
help her brother and ultimately herself. The Sun is Gone something that takes control over your life. It is not easy to break
highlights the need to take personal responsibility for our patterns of all we have ever known, even when our choices hurt us or
choices, mistakes, and the learning process that is inherent in hurt the ones we love. I know that sometimes these behaviors are
making real changes in your life." -- Carrie Wilkens Ph.D., etched deep inside...But when we lose ourselves in someone else’s
Co-author Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness addiction or issue, we are no good to anyone; not ourselves and
Help People Change certainly not the one’s we love. In the end, we are not culpable for
someone else’s path. Just our own.”
And that’s the deepest form of love and understanding.
Through her book and message, Jodee inspires people to: LEARN.
www.JodeeProuse.com ACCEPT. FORGIVE. HEAL.

Available at Amazon.com