Page 17 - 201001 - The 'X' Chronicles Newspaper - January 2010

January 2010_june_july_2009.qxd 02/02/2010 8:33 AM Page 17 “Paranormal Cops” Bomb in Ratings 17 Paranormal Cops By BRIAN LOWRY Produced by NorthSouth Prods. Executive producers, Charlie Debevoise, Mark Hickman; co-executive producer, Mark Marinaccio; senior producers, Matthew Hobin, Art Lyons; producer, Jonna Walsh; music, Elegant Too. 60 MIN. Chalk it up to the glut of paranormal-themed GHOSTTHEORY client, and of course, rating the paranormal programs, but every time they mention activity of the building on a scale of one to four. "Chicago Paranormal Detectives" in A&E's REVIEW OF It turns up a three in the CPD book. Case closed. latest painfully earnest not-very-real reality Case Closed? In the opening statements show, it brings to mind a "Saturday Night A&E’s PARANORMAL COPS of the show, it is stated ‘We don’t rest until your Live" sketch, a la "Ex-Police." They are case is closed’. Well how do you close a "police officers by day, and 'Paranormal Written by Gary Popella paranormal investigation? Cops' by night," we're told, inspired by their www.ghosttheory.com This is horrible A&E programming. supernatural experiences to take "cases" on They couldn’t even do something original (like behalf of those who suspect they're being Yes, it’s that time of season again when Ghost Lab tried), they just took the Ghost haunted. What follows, inevitably, are lots of the TV shows start their seasons, and new Hunters formula and spun it into their own night-vision photography, eerie music and shows are introduced. Paranormal Cops is show. Of course they do have their own style of "Omigod!" moments. It's enough to rouse A&E’s latest installment to the ghost hunting investigating, but realistically, it’s the same the dead, perhaps, but only those most genre. Don’t get your hopes up. show. The only high points I could say about the gullible among the living. I started off this morning by watching show is the Cops seal the building with police the opening episode of Paranormal Cops, and seal tape (in which they found a door with all I could think of was that it was Ghost broken seal later in the show), and they carry Chicago does provide a colorful Hunters, rebranded. Same synopsis, same guns. I can’t wait until the show fuses into a background for this sort of nonsense, especially investigation style, same finish. It all starts out mixture of Ghost Hunters and Cops! The lows since the debut allegedly ties in with an old with the Chicago Paranormal Detectives, cops to this show are orbs…they like orbs. mobster. The featured cops, moreover, possess by day, paranormal investigators by night The jury is still in session as far as this that wonderfully gruff "just the facts" style, (plumbers by day, investigators by show is concerned. If you like Ghost Hunters, where presenting conclusions about whether night…sound familiar?). They get the call on a you should like this show, but if you really don’t ghosts are involved sounds a lot like being haunted place by a distraught employee and so like Ghost Hunters or have had enough of informed that your car needs a new muffler. they go and check it out. They listen to what the watching it, this show will be a waste of your Armed with ectoplasmic, heat-sensing employee has to say about the occurrences in time.[] toys, the team includes a psychic (she feels the building and then they go to work, after something pass through her, which hopefully shutting down the lights for the night. Deja’ Vu’ FACT*oids doesn't mean deep-dish pizza) to assist the half- anyone? dozen investigators. Unlike some of the ghost The CPD starts off by running around CANADA hunters around, these guys are both deadly the basement (which is the hotspot), packing the serious and not afraid to conclude that there is usual gear. EMF detectors, camera’s with "definitely more than one entity here." nightvision, guns. Guns? Yeah. The one guy I * In the 1940s, the Canadian government Then again, once the genre has exploded saw was packing heat. I don’t know advised mothers to begin toilet-training to the point where there are ghost-chasing why…anyhows, they look around here and babies at one month old. college students and paranormal-probing kids there and have their medium (not a cop) check (on Cartoon Network, yet), it's tough to bring out areas along with them. They find a spot * Of Canada’s 36 “Fathers of Confederation,” much new to the party, except perhaps a greater where the EMF detector gets slightly active. two of them we named John Hamilton Gray. measure of certainty and confidence. Instead of trying to detect the source of the The client, meanwhile, a night manager EMF, they go right to work assuming a ghost is * One in 10 Canadians say they’d support a at a retail store, seems a little shell-shocked -- present. They start asking questions, the law the encouraged people in major cities to and is quickly rebuked when he mutters that he's detector goes off…and the medium wear name tags. "not the only crazy person here." translates…anyhows…another detective Indeed, inasmuch as "Paranormal Cops" investigates the news surrounding the building * During World War II, German U-boats sank taps into a growth industry built around really which turns out to be an old mobsters casino, 23 vessels in Canada’s St. Lawrence River. cold cases, everyone cashing in appears to be owned by the driver to Al Capone. They find crazy like a fox. that homicides have occurred in the basement. * The United States has invaded Canada After the night they find two leads that they twice - once during the American Revolution investigate. One is a former worker in the and once during the War of 1812. building, who tells an eerie tale, while another happened to be a patron of the old mob casino, * In 1943, Fred Rose became the only and of course, the guy collaborates the Communist ever elected to the Canadian homicides that occurred there. They return parliament. again the next night and have long winded EMF talks (ala Ghost Hunters) with the ghost * One of Canada’s founding fathers was an that resides there. The show finishes off with American: William P. Howland of Pawling, reviewing the case and the evidence with the New York.