Page 25 - The 'X' Chronicles Newspaper - October 2015

A New Date For Niburu To Hit Earth? 25
What is ‘Nibiru’ – and is
it really going to crash
into our planet in
December?
In 1979, a NASA probe found a mysterious
‘extra’ planet in our solar system – which is set
to collide with Earth and KILL US ALL in just
eight weeks’ time.
Except, of course, that it’s all bollocks.
The mysterious extra planet Nibiru has
no basis in scientific fact, has never been seen,
cannot be seen with the naked eye, and won’t be
killing us all in 2015, or ever.
Here’s the bad news: you still have to
buy Christmas presents for your family.
‘Nibiru’ or ‘Planet X’ is a favourite of
conspiracy theory websites, and has been
around for 20 years. It has been predicted to kill
us all on several occasions – and has never even
shown up.
From the late Nineties on, a woman who
claimed she had an alien implant in her brain
said that the planet was on a collision course
with Earth, to hit in 2003.
It wasn’t.
In 2012, Mayan apocalypse believers
went on so much about Nibiru that Professor
Brian Cox snapped on Twitter, ‘If anyone else
asks me about “Nibiru” the imaginary bulls**t
planet I will slap them around their irrational
heads.’
This year, IT’S BACK! Except, it isn’t.
Sites such as Before It’s News claim the
planet is once again on a collision course with
Earth – blaming it for everything from climate
change to an impending doomsday collision.
NASA has thoroughly debunked the
Nibiru myth via its Beyond 2012 page, saying,
‘The story started with claims that Nibiru, a
supposed planet discovered by the Sumerians, is
headed toward Earth.
‘This catastrophe was initially predicted
for May 2003, but when nothing happened the
doomsday date was moved forward to
December 2012”
‘Nibiru and other stories about wayward
planets are an Internet hoax. There is no factual
basis for these claims. If Nibiru or Planet X
were real and headed for an encounter with the
Earth, astronomers would have been tracking it
for at least the past decade, and it would be
visible by now to the naked eye.’
Nigel Watson, author of the UFO
Investigations Manual says, ‘The concept of a
Planet X is a cornerstone of Zcharia Sitchin’s
ancient astronaut theories. After studying
ancient Sumerian texts he concluded that the
planet Nibiru exists beyond Neptune and visits
our part of the Solar System every 3,600 years.
‘He claims that Nibiru collided with a
planet called Tiamat that was situated between
Mars and Jupiter. The result was the creation of
the asteroid belt and planet Earth.’
‘Nibiru is populated by the Anunnaki, an
advanced humanoid race, who visited Earth
thousands of years to mine gold in Africa. As an
outcome of needing workers to carry out these
mining operations they used genetics to create
Homo Sapians.’
‘This is a well thought-out theory based
on ancient texts, but most of it cannot be proved
and the concept of a planet on such a large
ellipital orbit around our Sun doesn’t fit with
our current scientific understanding of the Solar
System.’
‘Nonetheless the popularity of these
type of ideas makes it certain that every new
discovery by our spaceships will be be minutely
studied for any evidence of Nibiru, or any other
similar body that might be populated by
extraterrestrials.’ []
How to survive if the
internet blows up
If you want to prepare for the internet
‘switching off’, you’re already lagging behind.
Steve Hart, of doomsday-preparation
site UKPrepper’sGuide.co.uk has already built
three wilderness lairs filled with canned goods
and tools such as pen knives, ready for the dark
day.
‘If anything to do with the internet goes on the ground?
down, half the planet will come to a standstill,’
Hart told Mirror Online, ‘99% of your life relies
on technology.’
Hart’s site sells everything from
catapults for hunting to water purification kits – burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no
and offers reviews of edible insects.
The key is to start getting ready now –
that way, you can survive as all the ‘sheeple’
around you die.
UK Prepper’s Guide says, ‘Did you
know, you can only last about 3 days without
water, before your main organs begin to fail –
do you have enough supplies or water filtering
equipment for you and your family if the supply
were to become contaminated…?
‘You need to start planning how you will
survive a doomsday situation and begin your
prepping as the doomsday clock has started
ticking and it’s only a matter of time before it
affects you and your family.’[]
THE SCIENCE OF MAGIC
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PONDERISMS
* Can you cry underwater?
* How important does a person have to be
before they are considered assassinated instead
of just murdered?
* Why do you have to put “your two cents in”...
but it’s “only a penny for your thoughts”?
Where’s the extra penny going?
* Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck
wearing the clothes you were buried in for
eternity?
* Why does a round pizza come in a square
box?
* What disease did cured ham actually have?
* How is it that we put man on the moon before
we figured out it would be a good idea to put
wheels on luggage?
* Why is it that people say they "slept like a
baby" when babies wake up like every two
hours?
* If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still
called a hearing?
* Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
* Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and
then put money in binoculars to look at things
* Why do doctors leave the room while you
change? They're going to see you naked
anyway.
* Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
* Why do toasters always have a setting that
decent human being would eat?
* If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is
there a stupid song about him?
* Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the
carpool lane ?
* If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make
a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole
in a boat?
* Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto
remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
* If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy
all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy
dinner?
* If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable
oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil
made from?
* If electricity comes from electrons, does
morality come from morons?
* Did you ever notice that when you blow in a
dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you
take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window? []