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12 EASTERN HORIZON | TEACHINGS

with disease, and its legs were in the shape of two by. Once you notice a thought that you shouldn’t have
very big mouths. This picture, which depicted greed, (“I noticed it!”), immediately return to zero. Train your
was very painful to look at. A mind of greed is a mind mind to recognize when an unwholesome thought
that suffers—after getting what one lusts for, one still comes up, then immediately return to the method, and
suffers for fear of losing it; and one suffers even more if keep on doing that. This is the method of Chan: “Do not
one cannot get what one wants. Endless greed is itself be concerned about wandering thoughts; simply return
a poison, a kind of abnormal state, and the same is also to the method.”
true for anger and ignorance. The antidote is to realize
that these poisons are addictive to the mind, and that Repentance, Not Remorse
one should return to the practice method. Do not allow Some people try to conceal their mistakes or avoid
yourself to be deterred or affected by these poisons. guilt by defending themselves; others claim innocence
while blaming others; and then there are those who
When you suffer because you cannot get what you desire, feel constant remorse for what they have done. During
or get enough of it, tell yourself that this is a poison a Chan retreat, one of the participants could not stop
that is making you ill, and that you should adjust your crying and could no longer meditate after I spoke about
mind-set to be happier, more relaxed and at ease. Do repentance.
not be moved by these thoughts and vexatious attitudes;
instead, realize that they are caused by your mind being He said: “I cannot meditate anymore, I am going home!”
influenced by the environment. Know that as long as I asked: “Why?”
your mind is not moved by the environment, you can
always and anywhere return to a faultless condition. He said: “People like me probably cannot practice. How
can anyone as bad as me practice? I feel I should die and
When suffering from vexations, first realize that they not live in this world. I am so bad I cannot practice, and
arise because of our addiction to the poisons of the I cannot succeed in my practice.”
mind—greed, anger, and ignorance. These addicting
poisons have been there since time without beginning. I told him: “There is a saying from the sutras, ‘As soon
Therefore, it is not easy to eliminate them. It is very as the butcher puts down his cleaver, he immediately
difficult to remove an addiction to mind-altering drugs, becomes a buddha.’ ” That is the attitude we should
and even harder to remove habits that one has had have in our practice. Putting down the cleaver means to
since time without beginning. But as long as one has have a mind of repentance and to make amends. As long
the heart to do it, with hard work on the methods of as we realize and admit our mistakes, let them go and
practice it is still possible to remove these poisons. make corrections immediately, that is practice.

To repent is to face one’s faults . . . and try one’s best not I asked him: “Are you killing, robbing, setting things on
to make the same mistake again. fire in the Chan hall?”

A follower who used to enjoy eating meat, and has He said: “No!”
since stopped eating it, asked me, “What else should I
give up?” I said, “Due to our many habits, there are so I said: “When did you do those bad things?”
many things we should give up, that I cannot tell you
what you should give up next. But you can come to our He said: “Very long ago. I just remember doing many
meditation camp, and afterward you will know what bad things, so I feel very guilty.”
to give up!” When troubles and confusion arise out of
vexations, just return to zero—the method. Remind I told him later: “In practice, we should repent rather
yourself that this is not what you should have, not what than have remorse. To repent is not to feel remorse, but
you should accept, and not what you should be moved to face one’s faults, realizing they are faults, and try one’s