Page 161 - The Buddha‘s Noble Eightfold Path

(3) Awareness of People

If we are aware of people at all we are usually aware of them not
as people but as things, or objects 'out there'. In other words, we

are aware of them as physical bodies impinging on our physical
bodies. But this way of being aware of people is not enough. We
must become aware of them as persons.

So how is this done? How is one to become aware of a person as

a person? In the first place, of course, one must look at them. It
sounds very simple but it is in fact very difficult. When one says
'look at them' one does not mean stare. One does not fix them

with a hypnotic sort of gaze. One just looks — and this is not so
easy as it sounds. One might even say, perhaps with no more

than a touch of exaggeration, that some people have never really
looked at another person, while some have never really been
looked at by them. In fact, one may even go through one's whole

life without either looking at another person or being looked at in
one's turn. Thus there is no awareness of people.

As part of our FWBO activities we sometimes do what are called
'communication exercises'. There are three of these exercises,

the first of which consists in 'just looking', i.e. in sitting and
simply looking — without tension or embarrassment, and

without bursting into hysterical laughter — at the person seated
opposite, who is also looking at you. This exercise comes first
because there cannot be any real communication with another

person, or any real exchange, unless you are aware of that
person. The subject of communication is, of course, a Whole

subject in itself. I did just touch on it in connection with Perfect
Speech, and all that need be said now is that communication is by
no means

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