Page 35 - Provoke Mag Vol5

I am sure you have asked the question, yet toil with the an- swer. You have confidently said, “yes,” while secretly think- ing “no.” You may very well believe that a new and healthy version of yourself is not likely. I side with your confident “yes”! Yes, you will heal. You can heal, and your healing has everything to do with the decisions you make from this point on.
Years ago, I longed to experience emotional healing. After multiple sexual violations, I struggled with low self-esteem, and I did not feel worthy of living life free from all the nega- tive experiences that had kept me bound. At times I was not sure if emotional healing was possible. When the weight of my wounded emotions became too heavy to carry, I decided to make a few changes. I did not want to live the rest of my life in that unhealthy state, so I decided to process my pain and see myself free.
I realized that my emotional wounds had to heal if I want to see a change in my life. The wounds others could not see profoundly affected what I could see. My relationships, my work performance, self-care, and so much more were de- pendent on the state of my emotional wounds.
In my book, My Lemonade Recipe, Turning Life’s Sour Experiences Into Something Sweet, I talk about the impor- tance of transparency and vulnerability. If you want to expe- rience change, you must remove the mask and fight the urge to minimize your sour experiences. Reject the desire to cover your emotional wounds with clothes, cars, homes, make-up, and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Too often, we encounter unpleasant situations and contin- ue to function as if nothing ever happened. We live life con- vincing others and ourselves that we are just fine when we are not. In actuality, our emotional wounds are controlling us, and we must not allow people or situations to have that amount of power over our lives. Have you heard the state-
ment, “live as if you have never experienced hurt”? How many times have your actions and words reflected your hurts? Can you confidently say that your painful experiences no longer hinder you from being the best version of yourself? If not, now is a good time to take control of what hinders you from “living as if you have never experienced hurt”.
How do you see yourself? Do you believe the negative words that have been spoken about you, to be true? Have you allowed negative situations to define who you are? What experiences are holding you back? Answer these questions to help evaluate your level of emotional health.
Insecurity and low self-esteem are significant barriers to change. Begin to see yourself emotionally healthy. Speak up- lifting statements about yourself. Believe and highlight the positive attributes you possess. Your self-worth must increase, as it is the fuel for change.
sometimes your environment. It is common for individuals who knew you back then or who heard about what you en- dured, to keep you discouraged and distracted. If they are not encouraging the change, you may want to reevaluate their role in your life. When you set your heart and mind to heal, you may not have the individuals in your corner whom you desire, even so, continue to move forward.
Consider for a moment your email account. If you were to check your email right now how many emails would you look at and know that you should unsubscribe from their list? How many groups have you joined or subscriptions have you signed up for and for whatever reason, you no longer need the service or subscription? We see emails we do not need yet we will not take the time to unsubscribe. We may delete the email or even move it to a different folder, and for some reason, we do not unsubscribe. Deleting and moving emails is a temporary fix, unsubscribing ensures the unwanted emails no longer show up in our inbox, taking up valuable space.
I ask you to consider the same scenario regarding your heal- ing process. Take a look at your life and unsubscribe from what hinders you from healing. The conversations may not be as comfortable, and it may take some time, energy, and effort, and it is worthwhile. Keep in mind, if you do not unsubscribe the junk will continue to show up in your inbox. During your healing process and beyond, you do not have time or space for junky relationships or junky interest. Unsubscribing may feel as if you are taking a loss; you are not, you are making room for more and for better.
Emotional healing is liberating, empowering, and brings great joy to a once somber life. Freedom waits on the oth- er side of your healing. Take steps today and move toward change. Every step you take is a step closer to freedom. Even when you are taking baby steps, you are getting closer. So keep on stepping, and yes, you will heal.
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Will I Ever Heal?
-Chanté Dent
When you decide to heal, it is crucial that you protect your healing process. Distractions are inevitable; therefore, you must decide now that you will not allow people to keep you from healing. You may need to change your relationships and