Page 16 - Provoke mag8

Coming Back Home
- Andrea Pernell
As opinionated as I am about sex work, groupies and the R. Kelly scandal; I was completely humbled to sit with someone who has walked on the wild side of the industry, survived and came home. What did I admire most about this woman and her spirit; every one of her truths. No more is needed here, take a glimpse into her journey.
Do you remember what the day was like when you left your home? Oh yes! I remember very vividly, it was one of the most pivotal moments in my life. I have written down in detail the events that happened. It was 1992, I was 15 years old. After searching throughout our home, I had found my father in the fetal position, in the closet. It was alarming to me because my father was a large man, very prideful and I knew something was wrong for me to find him this way. He would have never let me see him like this and typically kept things together but during this time he was out of work. I had three part-time jobs and was the only person paying bills. I had always known my father as crazy or unpredictable but never as an addict until he blurted out when I dis- covered him that he was going through withdrawals and was not doing well. When he said that I went into immediate shock and tremendous anger from this rev- elation. We had moved around so much, but painfully, not because of his military background but because of choices he made to sleep around, to party and do things that he wanted to do outside of, even before, taking care of his family. Although he had made decent money, we
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Keeya Vawar
we never saw it and seemed to always struggle. At that moment I lost all respect for him. This was the same man known to fight people and hurt them, had even broken my mother’s wrist and ribs but that day I was so furious I stood up to him. I attacked his intentions and asked him “so all of this time we have suffered because you are on drugs!?” He lunged at me and I ran away behind my mom for protection. He followed me, as our yelling continued. As I shouted back at him in defiance he screamed that he would kill me and reached back to punch me. Once he swung I moved, and the blow landed on my mom’s chin, lifting her from the floor and across the room into a counter. I ran out of our home and luckily saw some con- cerned neighbors and I told them what was happening. The next thing I know my father was being taken away and I decided that I couldn’t go back home, ever. Initially, I went to a friend’s house after packing all my things, but I ended up getting a Greyhound ticket to Atlanta, GA.
Did you have people there or just thought that was where you would go for a better opportunity? The interesting thing that led to this was the year before I flew from Dal- las to Tulsa, where we had lived before, to attend prom there. While on the plane I had met a grown man and we had kept in touch. After this happened, I called and told him, and he suggested I live in Atlanta, with him. I purchased a one-way ticket and took my little ass down there.
I had to ask: do you think things would have been differ- ent had you went back home? I honestly feel I would have been seriously injured, dead or that I would have ended up killing my dad. I had that much rage in me. I felt like a tragedy would have happened one way or the other. I just knew someone would die in that household and it wasn’t going to be me.
Sometimes you must cut off your hand to save your arm.
What was the day you realized maybe the friend you thought you had, wasn’t who he portrayed himself to be? It was very short lived with him because I found out soon after arriving that the house I had moved into was not his. He was house-sitting for his brother while waiting for his apartment. His brother knew immediately that I was un- derage and he stated ‘you have to go back. Wherever you came from, you have to go back.’ The funny thing was the night before I was kicked out, we had gone out and I met another guy and left with his number. (She laughs) I was a little beast and very forward, no problem with being vocal. When I was told to leave I called him up, like hey, this just happened. I was honest with him about being in a bad situation and I had no reason to and was afraid to