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people will spend money on you, whether they are mar- ried or not. They never show up with the low self-esteem girls on their arm nor do they put them in the maga- zines. If you have high self-esteem you are taken to the next level. ‘I started thinking why was I never on his arm when I saw women like Kim Porter and Chili dating him. I had to tell myself I lacked the self-respect at the time. There are some gold diggers but many just don’t believe in themselves, they just want that attention. I’m sleeping with who?! For a while afterward, I couldn’t watch TV because there was a certain level of shame associated with seeing it. I asked myself many times, how was that all I did with my life?’
Do you recall the last day being in that life and what the confirming thought was to leave? I graduated from sex ser- vicing after a few years. I tried a regular job and it was boring. I began stripping after that because I needed the money and I was seeking power at that point. I wanted control over men and I wanted to control the scenario. I didn’t leave that life until 3 years later when I had a ner- vous breakdown. That was literally my saving grace. The psych eval brought more shame but it also brought free- dom. I refused to go back after all of that. I knew I needed to heal so I returned home, to Dallas, TX.
Do you still have therapy or counseling? My diagnoses were bi-polar and ADHD, counseling is ongoing. There are still times I have regret and go through episodes. They are few and far between. My life has been restored and I eventually became married and have 3 wonderful children. We have a vision and are local missionaries for the Lutheran church. I mentor young women and girls, but I still carry scars. I still deal with mental illness and bipolar disorder. I am open about my life and what I have been through.
Any choice that you make is a torch that you pass or a bur- den that you carry. APism
Keeya not only has healed but she has also rebuilt a relationship with her dad. She says that not having that relationship was a source of low self-esteem. She looks forward to seeing him again soon after arriving at a place of forgiveness where she says afterward so many other things opened for her after this. Keeya strongly believed that her mom would find the strength to leave her father if she herself left, and it was true.
What would you tell girls who think this lifestyle may be their way out? You were born to express something very specific in this life. You can’t find out what that is if you are giving everything in your essence away. Self-esteem is believing that what you have is worth something. It isn’t just physical, some people can take your energy, your
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very essence with their foolishness. Respect yourself enough to not associate with people that don’t add val- ue. You were created for more!
Keeya’s book that is set for release in the fall is One Thousand Elsewheres under Trilogy Publishing. It chronicles her life as a runaway and how she came back to true herself. Keeya has broken so many generational curses and I think that is something to be celebrated. I pray this for us all.
Please check out FAST Forward and what she does to inspire change in her community and the lives of those around her. To find out more about what Keeya is up to and what her life can offer for your journey check out: www.KeeyaVawar.com