Page 233 - The Love Hypothesis

“But . . . you gave your adviser what he wanted.”

Adam shook his head. “He wanted a power play. And in the end he got
it: he punished us for not dancing to his tune and published the findings we
brought to him without acknowledging our role in obtaining them.”

“I . . .” Her fingers fisted in the loose fabric of her borrowed T-shirt.
“Adam, I’m so sorry I ever compared you to him. I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay.” He smiled at her, tight but reassuring.
It was not okay. Yes, Adam could be direct, painfully so. Stubborn and

blunt and uncompromising. Not always kind, but never devious, or
malicious. Quite the opposite: he was honest to a fault, and required from

others the same discipline he clearly imposed on himself. As much as his
grads complained about his harsh feedback or the long hours of work they
were asked to put in the lab, they all recognized that he was a hands-on

mentor without being a micromanager. Most of them graduated with several
publications and moved on to excellent academic jobs.

“You didn’t know.”
“Still, I . . .” She bit her lip, feeling guilty. Feeling defeated. Feeling

angry at Adam’s adviser and at Tom for treating academia like their own
personal playground. At herself, for not knowing what to do about it. “Why

did no one report him?”
He closed his eyes briefly. “Because he was short-listed for a Nobel
Prize. Twice. Because he had powerful friends in high places, and we

thought no one would believe us. Because he could make or break careers.
Because we felt that there was no real system in place to ask for help.”

There was a sour set to his jaw, and he was not looking at her anymore. It
was so surreal, the idea of Adam Carlsen feeling powerless. And yet, his

eyes told another story. “We were terrified, and probably somewhere deep
down we were convinced that we’d signed up for it and we deserved it.

That we were failures who would never amount to anything.”
Her heart hurt for him. For herself. “I’m so, so sorry.”
He shook his head again, and his expression somewhat cleared. “When

he told me that I was a failure, I thought he was right. I was ready to give
up on the one thing I cared about because of it. And Tom and Holden—they