Page 574 - A Little Life: A Novel

After they’ve stopped laughing, Jane says, “But you know, Andy, if it
weren’t for Jude, I never would have married you.” To him, she says, “In
medical school, I always thought Andy was sort of a self-absorbed douche

bag, Jude; he was so arrogant, so borderline callow”—“What!” Andy says,
feigning injury—“that I assumed he was going to be one of those typical
surgeons—you know, ‘not always right, but always certain.’ But then I
heard him talk about you, how much he loved and respected you, and I
thought there might be something more to him. And I was right.”
“You were,” he tells her, after they all laugh again. “You were right,” and
they all look at Andy, who gets embarrassed and pours himself another

glass of wine.
The week after that, Willem begins rehearsals for his new film. A month
ago, when he got sick, he had backed out of the project, and then it had
been delayed to wait for him, and now things are stable enough that he has
signed on again. He doesn’t understand why Willem had backed out in the
first place—the film is a remake of Desperate Characters, and most of the

filming will be done just across the river, in Brooklyn Heights—but he is
relieved to have Willem at work again and not hovering over him, looking
worried and asking him if he’s sure he has the energy to do any of the very
basic things (going to the grocery store; making a meal; staying late at
work) that he wants to do.
In early November he goes back into the hospital with another fever, but
only stays for two nights before he’s released again. Patrizia draws his

blood every week, but Andy has told him that he’ll have to be patient; bone
infections take a long time to eradicate, and he probably won’t have a sense
of whether he’s been healed for good or not until the end of the twelve-
week cycle. But otherwise, everything trudges on: He goes to work. He
goes to have his treatments in the hyperbaric chamber. He goes to have his
wounds vacuum-treated. He goes to have them debrided. One of the side

effects from the antibiotics is diarrhea; another is nausea. He is losing
weight at a rate even he can tell is problematic; he has eight of his shirts and
two of his suits retailored. Andy prescribes him high-calorie drinks meant
for malnourished children, and he swallows them five times a day, gulping
water afterward to erase their chalky, tongue-coating flavor. Except for the
hours he keeps at the office, he is conscious of being more obedient than he
ever has been, of heeding every one of Andy’s warnings, of following his

every piece of advice. He is still trying not to think of how this episode