Page 112 - A Woman Is No Man

Isra

Spring 1991

Isra’s second pregnancy was a quiet struggle. In the mornings, while Deya

slept, she kneaded dough and soaked rice. She diced tomatoes and onions,
simmered stews and roasted meat. She swept the floors, washed the dishes,
cracked the kitchen window to air the house when she was done. Then she
mixed a bottle of formula and returned to the basement, where she crooned
her daughter awake. Her growing belly prevented her from holding Deya
like she used to, so she propped the bottle against the crib instead,
swallowing her growing guilt as she watched her suckle from a distance.

Isra returned downstairs once her afternoon chores were done. She lay
in bed and stroked her belly as Deya sucked on her bottle. Upstairs, the
sounds followed their usual rhythm. Sarah jerking the front door open when
she returned from school, dragging her backpack to her room. Fareeda
commanding she join her in the kitchen. Sarah pleading, “I have
homework!” More than once, Isra had considered asking Sarah to bring her

a book from school, only to change her mind. She couldn’t risk upsetting
Adam, who’d been working longer hours since Deya’s birth. Besides, when
would she have the time to read, with another child on the way?
She kept her hands on her belly, tried to picture the baby growing inside
her: Was it a boy or a girl? What would happen to her if she bore another
girl? The night before, Fareeda had mentioned going back home to find
Omar a wife and joked that she would find Adam a new wife, too, if Isra

gave them another girl. Isra had forced a laugh, unsure of Fareeda’s actual
intentions. It was possible. She knew women back home whose husbands
had married again because they couldn’t bear a son. What if Fareeda was
serious? She shook the fear away, feeling foolish at the thought. It shouldn’t
matter if her baby was a girl. Even the Qur’an said that girls were a

blessing, a gift. Lately she had been reciting the verse in her prayers.
Daughters are a means to salvation and a path to Paradise. She traced her
belly and muttered the verse again.