Page 115 - A Woman Is No Man

in her affections, to ask a man for his time, for his love. Besides, any time
she tried, he scorned her attempts.
Instead Isra willed herself to make a request she had been brewing in

her mind but had been too scared to ask: “I was hoping maybe you could
teach me how to navigate Fifth Avenue. Sometimes I want to take Deya for
a walk in the stroller, but I’m afraid I’ll get lost.”
Adam put his fork down and looked up at her. “Go out to Fifth Avenue
on your own? Surely that’s out of the question.”
Isra stared at him.
“You want to take a stroll down the block? Sure. But there’s no reason

for you to be out on Fifth Avenue alone. A young girl like you on the
streets? Someone would take advantage of you. So many corrupt people in
this country. Besides, we have a reputation here. What will Arabs say if
they see my young wife wandering the streets alone? You need anything,
my parents will get it for you.” He pushed himself up from the table.
“Fahmeh? Do you understand?”

She couldn’t stop looking at his eyes. How red they were. For a moment
she thought perhaps he had been drinking, but she quickly dismissed it.
Drinking sharaab was forbidden in Islam, and Adam would never commit
such a sin. No, no. He worked too hard, that was all. He must be getting
sick.
“Do you understand?” he said again, more slowly.
“Yes,” she whispered.

“Good.”
Isra stared at her plate. She thought back to her silly hopes, before
coming to America, that she might have more freedom here. She had the
familiar urge to break one of the plates on the sufra, but instead she dug her
fingers into her thighs, squeezed tight. She breathed and breathed until the
familiar throb of rebellion dissipated. She was only nineteen, she reasoned.

Adam must be afraid for her safety. Surely he would give her more freedom
when she got older. And then a new hope occurred to her: perhaps his
overprotectiveness was out of love. Isra wasn’t sure if that was one of the
things love made you do, possess someone. But the possibility made a
warm feeling rise up inside her. She put her hands on her stomach and
allowed herself a small smile, a rare moment of peace.