Page 233 - A Woman Is No Man

“Teta will never let me—”
“Listen to me.” Sarah cut her off. “You want to go to college, make your
own choices, fine. Do that. You don’t want to get married? Then don’t. Put

your foot down—refuse. Have the courage to speak up for yourself.
Leaving your family is not the answer. Running away is cowardly, and
you’d regret it for the rest of your life. What if you never see your sisters
again? Never see their children? Is that what you want? Living your life as
an outcast? You can do this the right way, Deya. You don’t have to lose
your family.”
Sarah didn’t understand, thought Deya. She had forgotten what it was

like. Deya couldn’t fight for anything in Fareeda’s house. She had a better
chance of sawing off her own leg. “Then I’ll just get married,” she said.
“Leave the house and start over.”
“That’s not a reason to get married. You know that.”
“Tell me then, what am I supposed to do? Tell me! I came here thinking
you would help me leave them. But all you’ve done is scare me more.” She

turned to go. “I thought you wanted to help me.”
“I do!” Sarah grabbed her hand. “I’m only telling you what I wish
someone had told me—that running away is not the answer.”
“Then what is?”
“Only you know that. You have to shove your fears and worries aside
and listen to that clear voice in your head.”
“But there are conflicting voices in my head. How am I supposed to

know which one to listen to?”
“You’ll know,” Sarah said. “Find something you love, something that
calms you, and do that for a while. Your answer will come. You will just
know. As for Fareeda, at least try. What have you got to lose?”
Deya gave her a hard look and then stood, turned, and walked out the
door. Couldn’t Sarah see by now that Deya knew nothing? Even after

learning the truth about her parents, she still knew nothing. She couldn’t be
trusted to figure things out on her own. All the thinking she had ever done
was for nothing, or she would’ve realized that her mother hadn’t just died,
that she had been murdered. She felt a jolt of shame inside. A violent stab
of foolishness. All these years she had thought Isra abandoned them. She
had been so sure, and she had been wrong, terribly wrong. How could she
trust herself now?