Page 242 - A Woman Is No Man

noises as she read. You all used to laugh so hard. I rarely heard Isra laugh
throughout the years, but in those moments she sounded like a child.”
Deya felt her mouth go dry. “What else?”

Khaled opened a jar of sumac. The burnt-red powder had always
reminded Deya of her parents. Isra had liked to sauté onions in sumac and
olive oil until they turned a light purple. Then she’d place the sautéed
mixture on top of warm pita bread. Msakhan. It was her father’s favorite
dish. She felt sick at the thought.
Khaled sprinkled a pinch of salt into the mixture. “What exactly do you
want to know?”

What did she want to know? Even the question felt like a vast
oversimplification of everything she was feeling. “I’ve been lied to all these
years. I don’t know what to believe anymore, what to think, what to do.”
“I knew we should’ve told you the truth right away,” Khaled said, “but
Fareeda was afraid . . . We were afraid . . . We didn’t want you to get hurt,
that’s all. We only wanted to protect you.”

“There’s so much I don’t know.”
He met her eyes. “There’s so much none of us know. I still don’t
understand why my daughter ran away, why my son killed his wife, killed
himself. My own children, and I don’t understand them.”
“But at least Sarah is alive,” Deya said. “You can ask her why she ran
away. You can get answers, you just choose not to.” Khaled looked away.
From his expression Deya knew he was still angry with his daughter. “Will

you ever forgive her?” He didn’t look up. “She misses you, and she’s sorry
—she’s sorry she ran away.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Why not? Because she’s a girl? Is that it? Because she was only a girl
and she dared to shame you? Would you have forgiven my father if he were
still alive? Tell me, would you have forgiven him for killing my mother?”

“It’s not that simple.”
Deya shook her head. “What does that even mean?”
“It isn’t Sarah’s fault I can’t forgive her, it’s mine. My pride won’t let
me forgive her. In this her crime is less than mine, much less. In this I have
failed her. I have failed all of you.”
“You talk as though it’s too late, Seedo, but it’s not. You can still forgive
her. There’s still time.”