Page 42 - A Woman Is No Man

“He did.”
“And what did you say?”
“I said nothing made me happy.”

“Why did you say that?” said Amal.
“Just to mess with him.”
“Sure,” Nora said, rolling her eyes. “That’s a good question, though.
Let’s see. What would make me happy?” She stirred her soup. “Freedom,”
she finally said. “Being able to do anything I wanted.”
“Success would make me happy,” Layla said. “Being a doctor or doing
something great.”

“Good luck becoming a doctor in Fareeda’s house,” Nora said,
laughing.
Layla rolled her eyes. “Says the girl who wants freedom.”
They all laughed at that.
Deya caught a glimpse of Amal, who was still chewing her fingers. She
had yet to touch her soup. “What about you, habibti?” Deya asked, reaching

out to squeeze her shoulder. “What would make you happy?”
Amal looked out the kitchen window. “Being with you three,” she said.
Deya sighed. Even though Amal was far too young to remember them
—she’d been barely two years old when the car accident had happened—
Deya knew she was thinking of their parents. But it was easier losing
something you couldn’t quite remember, she thought. At least then there
were no memories to look back on, nothing hurtful to relive. Deya envied

her sisters that. She remembered too much, too often, though her memories
were distorted and spotty, like half-remembered dreams. To make sense of
them, she’d weave the scattered fragments together into a full narrative,
with a beginning and an end, a purpose and a truth. Sometimes she would
find herself mixing up memories, losing track of time, adding pieces here
and there until her childhood felt complete, had a logical progression. And

then she’d wonder: which pieces could she really remember, and which
ones had she made up?
Deya felt cold as she sat at the kitchen table, despite the steam from her
soup against her face. She could see Amal staring absently out the kitchen
window, and she reached across the table and squeezed her hand.
“I just can’t imagine the house without you,” Amal whispered.
“Oh, come on,” Deya said. “It’s not like I’m going to a different

country. I’ll be right around the corner. You can all come visit anytime.”