Page 181 - Stephen R. Covey - The 7 Habits of Highly Eff People.pdf
P. 181
"I know," he replied with a forced patience. "But since you won't tell me exactly what it is,
I figure the best way to find out what it is is to find out what it is not. Do you live where
you want to live?"
"I guess."
"Honey, Stephen's here for just a few minutes to try to help us. Just give me a quick 'yes'
or 'no' answer. Do you live where you want to live?"
"Yes."
"Okay. That's settled. Do you have the things you want to have?"
"Yes."
"All right. Do you do the things you want to do?"
This went on for a little while, and I could see I wasn't helping at all. So I intervened and
said, "Is this kind of how it goes in your relationship?"
"Every day, Stephen," he replied.
"It's the story of our marriage," she sighed.
I looked at the two of them and the thought crossed my mind that they were two half-
brained people living together. "Do you have any children?" I asked.
"Yes, two."
"Really?" I asked incredulously. "How did you do it?"
"What do you mean how did we do it?"
"You were synergistic!" I said. "One plus one usually equals two. But you made one plus
one equal four. Now that's synergy. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts. So
how did you do it?"
"You know how we did it," he replied.
"You must have valued the differences!" I exclaimed.
Valuing the Differences
Valuing the differences is the essence of synergy -- the mental, the emotional, the
psychological differences between people. And the key to valuing those differences is to
realize that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are.
If I think I see the world as it is, why would I want to value the differences? Why would I
even want to bother with someone who's "off track"? My paradigm is that I am objective;
I see the world as it is. Everyone else is buried by the minutia, but I see the larger picture.
That's why they call me a supervisor -- I have super vision.
If that's my paradigm, then I will never be effectively interdependent, or even effectively
180
