Page 22 - NARM Model for Working with Affect

NARM Affect Core Principle: Sadness & Grief
§There is also deep sadness and grief associated with children experiencing these environmental failures, as well as having to adapt to these failures by rejecting, disconnecting and splitting-off from parts of themselves
§When facing the misattunement and/or abuse from their caregivers, the child will initially protest
§When the protest isn’t responded to, or not responded to in a supportive manner, the protest turns to anger
§However, the anger is dangerous to the attachment relationship so that leads to the child rejecting their basic needs and feelings, as well as the splitting off and shutting-off of their anger
• Sadness & grief are so often the default emotion when people have lost connection with their anger
NARM Model for Working with Affect Laurence Heller, PhD & Brad J Kammer, LMFT, LPCC 26