Page 24 - NARM Model for Working with Affect

NARM Affect Core Principle: Sadness & Grief
§Sadness and grief often become the default position for clients’ inability to feel their anger
§i.e., tendency to cry at any emotion coming up (default emotion) §We cannot bypass the anger, otherwise it runs the risk of reinforcing
freeze, disconnection and depression
§Not just about expressing anger, but owning and integrating it §But feeling and integrating the anger is also not enough
• Ultimately, there is deep grief of not having the relationship we wanted and needed with our parents
• So there will always be some grieving when people have completed and integrated anger
NARM Model for Working with Affect Laurence Heller, PhD & Brad J Kammer, LMFT, LPCC 28