Page 2 - Course 8 The Repair Stage

Repair: Key Principles

Be consistent in carrying out repair whenever someone is

disadvantaged

By doing so, we keep expectations high and send a strong message about

pro-social skills.

Be clear on the purpose

Be clear with all involved the purpose of the repair being to plan amends,
restore relationships and teach empathy. Note that it is not to work out

how to manage next time – Coaching Conversations are designed for that.

Don’t force an apology

It doesn’t lead to improved skills and often results in resentment.

If a child refuses to repair

Keep expectations high by noting that refusal to repair suggests missing
skills in empathy; then create a practice schedule for building these skills.

Each element of the 3-part structure is important

Part 1 provides practice at flexible thinking and improves cognitive
empathy. Part 2 ensures the process is not tokenistic and amends make a

real difference. Part 3 helps ensure the amends will be actioned.