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Planning Tough Interviews 219

Table 6.5 Methods of establishing rapport

Aspect What you should do

Transactional role Adopt appropriate and equal transactional roles

Primary channel of Tune to the subject’s primary channel of communication
communication

Careful listening Listen carefully to the words used: use compatible language and
don’t talk up or down to him. If he is a rapper, do not pretend that
you are some sort of jive bunny. Always act your age!

Words Carefully repeat some words and phrases used by the subject

Method of addressing the In the early stages of the interview you may refer to the subject as
subject ‘Mister’ but use his first name, at the appropriate time, to support a
nurturing parent role

Body language Consciously use positive body language: mirror his eye contact and
gestures

Mirroring Adopt similar postures to the subject and use the same type of
language, words and hand movements. When he picks up his cup
of tea, you should do the same

Interests Interests shared with the subject can be discussed to create
rapport. However, make sure this does not become a displacement
Shared professional activity for asking relevant questions or used by the subject to
qualifications, schooling etc. ramble off the point

Emotions Monitor the subject’s emotions. Be prepared to communicate with
him at an emotional level

Accusations and criticisms Try to avoid being judgmental, but challenge all lies. Never attack
the subject’s character by calling him a ‘liar’ but you may destroy
specific untrue statements by calling them ‘lies’. It is, however,
important to continually emphasize the embedded command
‘truth’ (see page [xref])

Agreement Confirm your agreement with the subject wherever you can. Try
to find common ground. The more you are able to agree (even on
small things), the more likely you are to get to the deep truth. The
more the suspect says ‘Yes’ the less likely he is to say ‘No’

Touch Although touching the subject must be handled carefully11, there
is no doubt that with right hemisphere dominated (and tactile)
people, touch builds rapport. However, never touch a member of
the opposite sex, nor an accountant or lawyer

Appearance Believe it or not, good-looking people are more easily accepted by
others than those with faces like the back end of a bus. There is not
much you can do about this if you are ugly, but it is a point worth
noting

Compliments Compliment the subject, without being patronizing

11 Excuse the pun