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Coping by Jody Lin scoffvisions of Boredom: Or, Dancing With Perry DuryeaIt was billed as an evening of dancing and drinking at Studio 54, %u2018 %u2018a fun and fabulous evening...at New York%u2019s most glamorous Disco%u201d ...%u201c the season%u2019s sensation%u201d ...%u201c super exciting%u2019 %u2019 ...%u201c impossible to resist %u201d ...%u201d a razzle dazzle night. %u2019 %u2019Unlikely though it sounds, it was a %u201c Dance with Duryea%u201d fundraiser at Studio 54. Yes, that%u2019s Perry Duryea, the staid, constrained, understated, low-key%u2014dare I say boring?%u2014 conservative (in the loose, but as far as I%u2019m concerned, deserved sense of the word) candidate for governor of the great state of New York. The one best known for his thick and wavy white hair that doesn%u2019t slip an inch in the wind. The trim, fit, tanned, lithe, articulate Perry Duryea.Perry Duryea would qualify as a Beautiful Person if he weren%u2019t quite so dull.Let me tell you, an evening spent dancing with Duryea is an evening better spent at home with a good book. Or for that matter with a bad book.For that matter, it%u2019s an evening better spent home watching television.Unfortunately, I didn%u2019t grab any of those options while the grabbing was good, so there I was one night last week, elbowing my way through the drippy crowd (it was raining, naturally and fittingly enough ) into the dark abyss that is known as Studio 54.It was not, I should note, anything close to a solid Duryea crowd, or for that matter, anything close to a crowd at all. The Duryea people could be picked out, even in the dark, from a mile away: you could spot the men by their neckties and white Oxford shirts, and the women by the shimmery threads in their little knit dresses and gold lamme clutch bags. A heavy duty post-prep crowd, and in fact the attnosphere was much like an Ivy League fraternity party. Everyone dressed to the hilt and, as thesaying goes, %u201c trying to swing.%u201d Which is not exactly easy in a button down shirt or knit dress with pumps.THE OTHER HALFThen there was the %u201c other half,%u201d the usual motley New York City crew, some of them dressed to outrage, most of them%u2018Unfortunately, Ididn%u2019t grab any ofthose options whilethe grabbing wasgood, so thereI was, elbowing myway into thedark abyss thatis Studio 54 %u2022 %u2022 %u2019dressed quite unmemorably. A tall, Wall Street-type, three-piece suited to the neck, says to his willowy, coiffed friend: %u201c Gee, this is just like a college beer blast.%u201d Unfortunately, he was right.The difference was that the lights were more elaborate and the beer wasn%u2019t free.For all of the hoopla over the status of the place, it was about as easy to get in (even when you weren%u2019t paying the requested $15) as it is to get into one of those supposedly exclusive fraternity affairs, with the same pro forma hassle at the door, the same obligatory flirting with the same pompous front door dupes.It should be noted that none of us were exactly %u201c dancing with Duryea,%u201d precisely because Duryea showed up early, gave what might have amounted to a 30-second speech, and left. The %u201c speech%u201d amounted to %u201c thanks for coming and have fun, kids,%u201d much in the vein of Dad showing his nose in the rumpus room before he lets the kids go to it; the theory being, of course, that now we know he's there, and he knows we know, and everyone will behave himself. Have a good time, but don%u2019t forget that Dad paid for this thing.Have a good time, but don%u2019t forget who to vote for. It%u2019 s highly likely that half this crowd doesn%u2019t vote anyway. One man in his late twenties says he supports Duryea because he likes Dureyea%u2019s %u201c honesty and his approach to things and his stand on the issues.%u201d He does, not, however, want to go into details (like%u2014 what %u201c issues%u201d ?) because he %u201c could talk about it all night.%u201d If that guy votes then I am, as they say, a monkey%u2019s uncle.Duryea vanishes into the abyss and what does the crowd do? Breaks into an orchestrated rendition of %u201c This Land Is Your Land,%u201d which, as a friend noted, used to be a pretty enough song until somehow it became the rallying cry for the Right to Lifers, the Moonies, Tennessee WASPS, the anti-ERA crowd, Up With People and other assorted evangelists. (I%u2019m sure it%u2019s in Anita Bryant%u2019s repertoire).PULSATING LIGHTSThen it%u2019s back to fun, kids, which means back to the usual milling and mauling and maneuvering that Studio 54 is all about, toCommunity ForumGene Daughtry Rides the Atlantic AnticBY L.J. DAVISJust by way of setting the record straight before everyone gets his nose out of joint, let me say that I was anintimate eyewitness (along with my band of dangerous Cub Scouts? to the little contretemps on Atlantic Avenue last Sunday, and it wasn%u2019t what you think.The Reverend Daughtry%u2019s congregation did not come pouring out o f their church and stop the parade.The mayor was not mugged.The truth is much happier and also a great deal more exciting. What we actually witnessed was a dress rehearsal of the act the Reverend%u2019s older brother, Gene, will soon premier in Los Vegas.Gene Daughtry is the former cowboy singing star and prominent West Coast sportsman. He has been planning his comeback for years and the new act is built around a hilarious parody of a militant black minister of the mid-1960%u2019s.This is what we witnessed last Sunday. The mayor knew all about it, but few others were in on the secret.The reason for this is purely artistic. Modelling himself on his friend, Gregory Peck, who perfected his role in The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit by riding a. . The mayorknew about it, butfew others were inon the secret..communter train incognito for several weeks, Gene wanted to try out his sketch in an actual unrehearsed confrontation, and the mayor agreed. This is what we saw last Sunday.The %u201c congregation%u201d was played by professional extras, as were the %u201c police.%u201d Contrary to rumor, however, the deputy pastor was not Pat Butram, Gene%u2019 sInklings b y C o m Swchmalongtime movie sidekick, who is dead.There will doubtless be those who will say that halting an entire parade, frightening small children, and inflaming racial tensions are scarcely the way to polish a comedy sketch, but these people are not artists and they do not understand the rigorous demands the craft places on its practitioners. Jerry Lewis worked at the Waldorf for six months before declaring himself ready to star in The Bellboy, and John Wayne foreced himself to kill 631 Navaho volunteers before he was satisfied with his draw. Hollywood insiders will tell you that Herbert Marshall deliberately allowed himself to be jilted by more than a dozen beautiful women, all of whom ran off with John Garfield, before he felt ready to go before the cameras, and Ronald Regan%u2019s stint in politics is too well known to deserve comment; the fruit of his effort will be apparent in his forthcoming film, %u201c The Crackpot.%u201d Gene is only following in this great tradition of the theatre, and it will come as no surprise to his many fans that he still isn%u2019t satisfied.the background of pounding music and flashing lights. Those pulsating lights, which are one of the more interesting elements of the place (we%u2019re talking about a 15-minute attention span here) do clever things, and by far the cleverest was a midnight rendition of %u201c Perry Duryea for Governor%u201d in yellows, blues, greens, all flashing and spreading and raising and lowering. Well, so much for that.Some snippets of conversation overheard (actually, I was eavesdropping): %u201c The only difference between tonight and other nights is that you have to go upstairs to smoke a joint.%u2019 %u2019 ...%u201c What are you majoring in ?\ass.%u201d %u201c So what do you expect from a Perry Duryea crowd?%u201d ...%u201c Who is Perry Duryea, anyway?\great.\real night.%u201dHo Hum. So this isn%u2019t a real night? It feels about as real as you can get. My feet are killing me. 1 go upstairs and slip into the ladies room to see what%u2019s happening there. Three women are having a desultory conversation about their respective Fire Island summer houses. My friend,back frcm the men%u2019s room, reports that there are women in the men%u2019s room and that the women say the men%u2019s room is a lot nicer than the women%u2019s room. We go back downstairs and mill around a little and 1 slam into a few mirrors. A touch of high camp sadism, mirrors in a dark room. How do I know I%u2019m walking into myself?Oh Lord. Is this prophetic of New York City under the Perry Duryea reign? If it is, I predict three things: the consumption of alcohol will rise drastically, city-wide; television watching will rise porportionately; we will all retire to Fire Island and drink beer and watch tv.This is not an optimistic vision. But then, what do you expect after an evening with a Perry Duryea crowd?%u201c I couldn%u2019t decide whether to fall down at the beginning of the act or at the end,%u201d he told me in an exclusive interview, %u201c so I didn%u2019t do it at all. That was a mistake. We misplaced my bang-flag pistol, and I had to go on without it. Worst of all, the script girl bought the wrong kind of pie. I ws supposed to run up to Ed and smack him in the face with a gooey banana creme number, but the dumb kid accidently purchased a huge praline. That could have been dangerous. Fortunately I always check my props personally%u2014i%u2019ve made a point of it ever since I accidently stabbed BArt Maclain with a real knife in Rustlers of Rattlesnake Gulch%u2014and at the last minute I discovered that a mistake had been made. You have to be on your toes every minute in this business.%u201dSpoken like a real pro, Gene! And I%u2019m sure that I speak for the many new friends you made right here in Brooklyn when I say, in time-honored theatrical jargon, that I hope you go to Vegas and break a leg.Next week: an interview with author Richard Nixon, don%u2019t miss it.K$OJSC M6... ONTHG MBiUHfcRC... w r sCAftP DAVID SPCCiAL%u201d?O H - IT%u2019S A P I1 2 A CRUSTWITH NO TO PPING S.UIT'S J U S TPOP. P lZ iA \*%u25a0 o fl 4ivt*%u00bb t u c n u n c M iv n , . r. mi, i v i w , a i i i . r i i v k f M n , r w^cr 9