Page 25 - Jewish News_Sept2021

JEWISH INTEREST September 2021 25A

Aging Jewishly – What our traditions teach us about growing old

Handing out cash to the grandkids:

Is there a better way?

By Rabbi Barbara Aiello
“ ne, two, three, four and five! really close to my grandma.’” of the Money Message program. She saving for special purchases and im-
It was Burns’ memory of her rela-
proving the world through charitable
That’s it! Five envelopes all
says, “Delayed gratification is a huge
Oready for the grandkids.” Ed tionship with her own grandparent that life lesson learned when saving mon- giving.
smiled as he visualized each of the two led her to develop a similar bond with ey. It reinforces and helps us practice Frustrated by mindless giving to
boys and three girls, ranging in ages her grandchildren – one that would learning to live within our means – a children and grandchildren, a client
from 5 to 12 years, who make up the teach them about earning money and hard lesson our society today would do once said to Marie Burns, “Money isn’t
majority of his extended family. They using it wisely. well to live by.” everything, but it sure keeps the kids in
are his children’s Burns says, “In order to save, we Finally, the essential third step is touch!” Ed and Linda are trying a new
children, and the have to earn money in the first place. what Burns terms “Saving to Give.” approach.
envelopes repre- Working to earn money is a great way The benefit of earning money and hav- “So we’ll give out the envelopes,”
sent the mon- to help children start practicing Save, ing it available establishes the oppor- Ed said, “after we talk with the grand-
etary gifts that Spend, Give.” tunity for our grandchildren to help kids.” Linda agreed. “We have the
Ed and his wife Back to skeptical Ed, who is still others in need. From the days when blessing of being able to give money
Linda will give somewhat reluctant. “So you’re telling we grandparents collected coins for the to our grandchildren. Now they can
to the grandkids me that we don’t just fill the envelopes Sunday school tzedakah box, our Jew- learn the blessings of using that money
when they arrive with cash and hand them out?” Linda ish traditions of charitable giving and wisely.”
en masse for the nodded a vigorous “yes” and described volunteering for public service have Note: For more information on
Rabbi Barbara Aiello Jewish holidays. how “Mimi” Burns’ Money Message informed our lives – a Jewish value Marie Burns’ program, see The Tony
“We’ve been giving New Year’s program works. “This year,” Linda said, worth discussing with, and perpetuat- Steuer Podcast at tonysteuer.com/the-
gifts for years,” Linda said. “But this “We’ll start with the kids sitting with us ing through our grandchildren. tony-steuer-podcast-with-marie-burns-
year I want to do something to make in a circle and I’ll begin. Ed, you and I Based on the Money Message, mind-money-and-motion/.
it more meaningful. It’s not just the will tell stories about how we earned program Linda and Ed are preparing Rabbi Barbara Aiello served Aviva
money. It’s the ‘Money Message’ that money when we were kids. I’ll talk to offer their New Year monetary gifts Senior Living in Sarasota as resident
I want to share as well.” about how my Bubby paid me for dust- in a new way. Linda plans to open a rabbi for 10 years. She now lives and
Linda is referring to a struc- ing all the tchotchkes in her cabinet!” grandkid-led discussion of earning works in Italy where she is rabbi of
tured program that combines gifts Ed jumped in. “And I’ll talk about money, prefaced by Linda and Ed’s Italy’s first Reconstructionist syna-
of cash with personal responsibility. how I mowed lawns and folded the personal experiences. They expect that gogue. You may reach her at Rabbi@
The Money Message was developed laundry.” Ed and Linda recalled how this sharing will lead to a discussion of RabbiBarbara.com.
and designed by financial expert and they each received an allowance that Rabbi Barbara Aiello’s most popular
grandmother Marie Burns (“What was contingent on chores they com-
Simple Stories Can Teach Grandchil- pleted each week. columns are now published in her new
dren about Money,” sixtyandme.com) Burns suggests that the personal book, Aging Jewishly, available on
whose grandchildren call her “Mimi.” stories shared by grandparents form
It’s a simple and straightforward pro- the opening for grandchildren to share Amazon. It makes a great gift!
gram that incorporates role modeling their earning experiences and that often
and storytelling into money-based con- children are eager to brag about all the
versations so that her grandchildren things they do to earn spending money.
can learn the basics regarding money. “Earning to Save” is an import-
It’s a process that “Mimi” defines as ant first step in the Money Message
“Save, Spend, Give.” plan. Here Burns guides grandparents
Marie Burns describes the grand- to continue the discussion about the from your friends at
parent-grandchild relationship this way. things the grandchildren bought with
She says, “As grandmas, we often have the money they earned. Did a grandson
teachable moments with our grandkids. save his earnings to buy a new scooter?
Think of your own life or how often Did a granddaughter work hard to earn
you have heard others say, ‘I learned X the price of a concert ticket?
from my grandma’ or ‘She was the one Burns emphasizes that step two,
who taught me how to do Y’ or ‘I was “Saving to Spend,” is an integral part
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